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A Perfect Zero

Raoul’s 2 cents

A Parking Spot

[This article is a little religious so skip to the jokes if it makes you nervous please.]

There’s a joke about a woman looking for a parking spot during the frenzy of a Christmas Shopping. It’s so crowded that she makes a desperate deal with God: “I promise to give up my bad habits, forgive all my enemies and start going to church if you grant me a teenie weenie space.” Suddenly a spot opens and she looks up and says “Oh, never mind God, I found one!”

Many of us experience a miracle and we never even know it.

I don’t want to harp on my recent illness but it would be a crime if I didn’t thank you for your prayers. They truly helped in my most painful moments. For those who don’t know the history of my remark, I’ll try to explain as concisely as I can.

Almost 2 months ago my blood pressure (BP) went up and, because of the pandemic, I had to meet my doctor via zoom. My regular doctor was unavailable so a temporary doctor stepped in. She looked like she was still in intern school and I had little confidence on her prognosis. This “Doogie Howser” gave me 4 times my regular dosage of my BP medication. I reluctantly followed her advice. In a few hours, I got all weird inside — naueseuos, weak, muscle aches, exhaustion, chills — it was as if well-mannered Dr. Jekyll was convulsing into the sinister Mr. Hyde. Sure my BP went down but oooh! my body turned into a useless shell. I was literally thinking “is this where it ends?” My wife rushed me to the Urgent Care and then the Emergency Room. I was in pain but at least I wasn’t gonna die.

I scheduled a second zoom meeting with my regular doctor and I complained that I was too weak to even turn over in bed without difficulty. I would wake up with frozen fingers difficult to bend. I couldn’t work. A few minutes on the computer and I needed to rest. The doctor feared that I developed fibromyalgia and I would have muscular aches for the rest of my life. I researched on how to cope with the disease only to find there is no cure. I would never play the guitar again, I would never sing again … my squiggly writing told me I would never draw again. I blamed that young doctor who triggered my failing nervous system.

(I do have to mention that I could barely walk when I went to Dr. Wendy, a skilled chirpractor, who put my aching bones in place and allowed blood to flow correctly. She was amazing.)

Here’s the twist. What I thought was the Kiss of Death from the overdose turned out to be a blessing from God. Doogie Howser gave me a Matrix choice — the BLUE pill (weeks of nausea) or the RED pill (a heart attack or stroke and open heart surgery) — and I took the BLUE pill. I only now understood why they gave me an EKG and a brain scan. They were looking for a blockage. I should have had a heart attack.

My daughter (a nurse) said after living with abnormal hypertension all my life, my body was just adjusting to “normal.” I’ve waited patiently for almost 2 months since the start of my demise and today I went to my cardiologist for my cardio echo test (no results yet but I feel good about it). I believe I’m back! BP is OK and no more muscular pain. A miracle touched my tired body. God gave me a parking spot.

We have an amazing God who listens and answers prayers … YOUR prayers. I mean it guys, thank you.

TGIF people!
Raoul

 

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre for this timely gag.


 

 

Thanks to Bernie of Fairfax, Virginia for this joke.

Perfect Zero
Original Drawing by Raoul Pascual

 

 

Video of the Week

Thanks to Mel of Washington, DC who shared this video.
Somehow, working and slaving for retirement for
that Ferrari doesn’t cut it.


 

 

Parting Shots

Thanks to Debbie of Moreno Valley, CA


 

 

Thanks to Mel of Washington, DC


 

 

Thanks to Naomi of N Hollywood, CA.


 

 

Thanks to Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

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10 Comments

  1. Toti

    May 14, 2021 at 5:51 pm

    Good to know you’re back in normal state.
    Stay well , Mate
    Keep up the good deed .. of making Fridays delightful, with your posting.

    Best regards,
    Toti

    Reply

  2. Pete

    May 14, 2021 at 5:52 pm

    Hi Raoul,
    I must have missed it some Fridays but I was not aware of your illness until now. What are you suffering from?
    Concerned,

    Pete

    Reply

  3. Heather

    May 14, 2021 at 5:52 pm

    Nothing like a visit to the chiropractor! Mine has saved me more than once! So happy that you’ve turned the corner!

    Reply

  4. Benjie

    May 14, 2021 at 5:52 pm

    Ha ha. Nakakatawa lahat.
    And a wonderful reminder about prayers.
    Thanks Raoul. Ingat. Stay healthy.

    Reply

  5. Gary

    May 14, 2021 at 5:53 pm

    Good morning Raoul,

    Praise God that you are feeling better. I do enjoy reading your weekly newsletter and I am encouraged this morning to hear that you are doing better in your health and that you were able to share the stories with others to encourage them.

    May the Lord continue to bless you and your family.

    Gary

    Reply

  6. Tom

    May 14, 2021 at 5:53 pm

    Great issue and I am glad to hear the Good Lord has cured your parking problem. Medications are are a funny thing in what they can do and undo. Happy Moms Day to you and yours. We do not give them near enough praise for all they do for us and our children. God Bless.

    Tom
    I will keep praying that you maintain good health.

    Reply

  7. Hilda

    May 14, 2021 at 5:54 pm

    I don’t respond very often, but I am happy to know you’re okay.

    Keep up the jokes!

    Hilda

    Reply

  8. Rick

    May 14, 2021 at 5:54 pm

    Happy Friday Bro! I’m thankful that you are doing better and on the road to recovery. Take care and hello to the family. The prayers will continue for you.

    Reply

  9. Debbie

    May 14, 2021 at 5:55 pm

    So Glad you are doing much better !!

    Happy Mother’s Day to Jackie and all the women in your families.

    Debbie

    Reply

  10. Ed

    May 14, 2021 at 5:57 pm

    Very moving, Mr. Pascual –

    Forgive me… I had no idea how you suffered. Your text was moving and life reaffirming. I loved the tie-in at end with parking space joke.

    You are a man to be admired…

    Reply

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