I think I should stop reading the news before I go to bed. I had 2 consecutive nightmares last night. In the first one, I was pulled over by the police for driving in the wrong lane. I asked them to prove I was guilty but they couldn't. Then they asked for a bribe to go free. They weren't asking for much but this was a matter of principles. I threatened to call my lawyer. And that's when the real nightmare started because I was in this never ending loop of dialing my lawyer's number over and over again -- and the more I couldn't remember the number, the more they increased the bribe. I woke up out of frustration.

A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened.