Home Raoul's TGIF Toilet Brush

Toilet Brush

Raoul’s Two Cents: August 26, 2022

Conversations With Myself: INDULGENCES

Do you know what indulgences are? They were invented during the infamous inquisition by the church fathers to allow parishioners to buy their way to heaven. This is the reason why Martin Luther, “protested” against the practice and eventually started the “Protestant” movement. So I was surprised when I received a text from an old classmate who was excited about something he learned in church. Below is an imaginary conversation I had with Me, Myself and I.

ME: “Good news! I just learned that you can earn spiritual points towards heaven whenever you kiss this golden amulet. Not only that, wearing it also gives you more points. Wait! Wait! It gets even better — attend as many processions while wearing it, and they all add up to many more points!”

I: Remained quiet. Didn’t know how to react to that.

MYSELF: “That’s great! BTW, how many total points does one need to get to heaven?”

ME: “Don’t be silly. No one really knows.”

I: “Is it a thousand points? A million points? A gazillion points?”

ME: “I can’t give you a definite number. But I know it’s a lot.”

MYSELF: “So how many points do you have already?”

ME: “Don’t be silly. I can’t even begin to count. This is automatically tabulated. Somehow, someone in heaven is keeping track.”

I: “So for sure, you are way ahead of us on this one.”

ME: “I guess so. But don’t worry, I can ask God to give you some of my points.”

MYSELF: “Well that’s mighty kind of you. But what if I need more than what you are offering me? After all, I’m so far behind that even if you give me all of your points, I still won’t have enough to get to heaven. I’ve been a very bad boy, you know.”

I: “If I carry two amulets, will that double my points? What if I decide to give some of my points to my wife. I know she’s been a naughty girl too (he! he! he!). And wouldn’t my generosity to her also add to my points? What a great deal! Who decides these rules anyway?”

ME: “My priest tells me all of this and he is beyond reproach. You can’t question him. He’s studied these things for years. It is beyond what either of us can comprehend. Besides, millions of people believe this. Millions of people can’t be wrong … can they? If you are coming to the amulet meeting tonight, you need to bring your own amulet.”

MYSELF: Looking down at his cell phone. “Hey, lookie here! There’s a sale for golden amulets at Walmart! It says they’re gold-plated … made in China … two for $10.”


WARNING: Spiritual Topic

To live by grace or to live by rules. There is a choice. You can live earning your salvation and never knowing if you earned enough. Or you can accept that it is impossible to do enough and instead latch on to the free gift of salvation by trusting in Christ. When they say “Jesus died for your sins” —- it means He doesn’t need your “contribution” to complete His sacrifice. This may sound either too simplistic or too complex. Indeed this is a difficult concept. Common sense is not enough. Much prayer is needed before this puzzle can be unlocked. Let this sink in. And yes, I’m praying for you.

“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 15:56 – 57


Thanks to all who prayed for my health. I’m almost fully recovered from Covid. Still have a cough. Although it was mild, I’m pretty certain things would have turned out so much worse if I didn’t get vaccinated because I’ve had flu before but this had a different sensation. Maybe it’s my imagination but I felt it was a set of foreign bionic anti-bodies that were battling with the virus. I’m just speaking for myself here.

TGIF people!

Raoul

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Peter Paul of S Pasadena. CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Ed

Thanks to Lee of Bakersfield

These I found

  • Thanks God It's Good Friday

    Good Friday

    As is our tradition, no jokes today. I'm sorry. And I also apologize if I will be speaking…
  • Going to Heaven preview

    Going to Heaven

    Sister Pia notices several people walking out in the street despite the government order t…
  • Heaven Wedding preview

    Marriage in Heaven

    On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident…
Load More Related Articles
  • Lost Wallet

    I'm embarrassed to say this but I succumbed to temptation. Over 20 years ago, I was a true…
  • Questions About the English Language

    I fell asleep watching the news. I woke up in the middle of the night with a silly song ab…
  • A Special Pig

    I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to…
Load More By Raoul Pascual
  • Lost Wallet

    I'm embarrassed to say this but I succumbed to temptation. Over 20 years ago, I was a true…
  • Questions About the English Language

    I fell asleep watching the news. I woke up in the middle of the night with a silly song ab…
  • A Special Pig

    I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to…
Load More In Raoul's TGIF

14 Comments

  1. Pia

    August 26, 2022 at 11:21 am

    Nice article and good way to introduce the gospel!

    Reply

  2. Betty

    August 26, 2022 at 11:22 am

    Thanks for sending through. Keep safe 😊

    Reply

  3. Heather

    August 26, 2022 at 11:22 am

    Amen to that.

    Reply

  4. Tom

    August 26, 2022 at 11:22 am

    Thanks Raoul Luther did us. Favor when he did what He did and indulgences were wrong and still are. Superstitious amulets are a waste of time. How we treat each other and think of our Creator is much more important .
    Happy to hear You are feeling better. Tom of Pasadena

    Reply

  5. Oscar

    August 26, 2022 at 11:24 am

    Good morning Raoul, I’m glad you’re feeling better. I like the points to get into heaven lol . I would never believe that . I get it , you can’t pay your way into heaven but the Lord likes when we do nice things. I like giving money to Jesus not because I’m trying to buy my way in to heaven but because I like helping people too , Just like Jesus . Jesus don’t need my money but I understand how giving is part of just being a good Jesus follower. I Know the 10 percent ( RULE ) lol . I don’t think Jesus wants it if you can’t afford it or someone just simply don’t want to do it !!!! I don’t think that qualify s for hell or heaven if done 🤷‍♂️. I believe what gets a person into heaven is understanding Jesus is God and Jesus died for our sins and we must try to live a life like Jesus and repent for our sins . 🙏🙏🙏

    I will pray for people to understand the concept. It’s hard to convince them if the church tells them that rules get a person into heaven. In that case people will sin and repent without a sincere heart ( in other words, they will keep planning to sin 🤷‍♂️) , it won’t work because God knows how to read the heart🙏🙏🙏

    Yup , just imagine society with no laws , no tickets, no jail and worse of all !!! No God 😂😂😂 welcome to HELL on earth. Now would be considered heaven on earth 😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏

    Reply

    • Raoul

      August 26, 2022 at 11:27 am

      One of the main reasons for the law is to prove to us that we cannot follow it all. We were never meant to be perfect.

      We do good out of the generosity of our heart because we are grateful to God who forgives our imperfections through Jesus. This is very profound. I’m glad u understand this.

      Reply

      • Oscar

        August 26, 2022 at 11:28 am

        Yes I totally understand but it just bothers me so much when people use God to take advantage of people. It’s like they don’t fear the Lord at all . I felt like the Guys that got me fired ( wrongfully terminated), wanted me to go to their church, it didn’t make sense to me because they didn’t like me 🤷‍♂️ 🙏 I’m Glad the Lord is protecting me . I’m Glad the Lord protects all those that trust in him 🙏🙏🙏

        Another big mistake some people believe is that God will bless you financially for giving money to the church. That’s not how it works either . Jesus wants you to give without expectations and the promise from Jesus is you will never go hungry 🙏🙏🙏

        Reply

  6. Hilda

    August 26, 2022 at 12:05 pm

    We’re free of jabs. Our entirety family supposedly had Covid in different time span. Mine was two years ago that lasted for 3 weeks. The rest ( tested positive with home kits) had mild symptoms, i.e., a couple days fever and stuffy nose. In all honestly, I feel they just had the flu cause non of them had sour throat, or smell or taste issues. In my case it was different, I had extreme lethargy, low grade fever. No smell or taste issues, but had breathing problems. My asthma inhaler proved the hero here. Btw, no recurrence for me since. I hear some people get sick after each jab or booster. Who’s to say yours could be mild without the jab, but that mRNA is forever there.

    About the amulets, idolatry wouldn’t you say? Why priests promulgate such practice is suspect.

    Be well,
    Hilda

    Reply

    • Raoul

      August 26, 2022 at 1:01 pm

      I’m glad you are over the jabs. I think this whole Covid issue is a reminder of our mortality —- although some people (especially our liberal leaders) still don’t get it and have even increased their level of gross corruption. What fools these mortals be.

      Amulets, rosary (hate to say it), stampitas, Sto Nino, etc. — they are indeed idolatry. To me it’s plain and simple. I’m more surprised that people are blinded about being taken advantage of. Glad you see it.

      Reply

      • Hilda

        August 26, 2022 at 1:03 pm

        I was going to mention the rosary previously but wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I am Catholic- school bred (til university), 12 units of Theology, 10 years in Catholic broadcasting and now I am down to ‘God if there’s a heaven, when the time comes take me with you,’ kind of thing.

        Another thing, liberals just don’t get it.

        H

        Reply

        • Raoul

          August 26, 2022 at 1:04 pm

          I too was Catholic born and raised. A Religion medalist 2 years in a row. But the hypocrisy and illogical practices in the church turned me away. TO this day, when the church encourages huge crowds in the Black Nazarene or amulet wiping — this isn’t just the church condoning the acts but the whole establishment is complicit knowing it gives them political and social status that fills up their coffers.

          But I have found grace and peace and understanding in Jesus Christ. I am now a born again, Bible believing Christian — free from the guilt tripping lashed out on me when I searched for answers. You should try it out yourself. If you believe in an all knowing, all loving God that cares for you, He already provided a way to reach Him. Know of any Bible-believing church around you? Where do you live? I may be able to recommend one for you. You just have to take the first step. Praying for you, Hilda.

          TGIF!

          Reply

  7. Lois

    August 26, 2022 at 1:24 pm

    I couldn’t tell whether the “Me, Myself, and I” story was created by you or your former classmate. Either way, it was very clever. I also enjoyed your assortment of jokes. L

    Reply

  8. Gary

    August 27, 2022 at 1:36 pm

    Hey Raoul,

    Another good message,

    Thank you for your boldness and honesty!! I really do appreciate your cleaver thoughts and format. I pray that your recovery continues to progress. My wife and I are getting more involved with [a Senator’s] campaign. I would love to meet with you for lunch of maybe a dinner here at my house with you and your wife just to catch up and hang out.

    All the best,

    Gary

    Reply

  9. Lee

    August 29, 2022 at 9:35 am

    Hi Raoul,

    I saw that you used again the cartoon I sent to you that you already had. Yes, the indulgences in the church is rooted in the apocryphal letter of Tobit. Luther didn’t like 2 Maccabees especially because it was a foundation for praying for the dear (see chapter 14).

    Blessings to you and I am glad that you are feeling better. We have not had covid yet, but suspect it will arrive one of our inconvenient days.

    Lee

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Check Also

Lost Wallet

I'm embarrassed to say this but I succumbed to temptation. Over 20 years ago, I was a true…