The BLM picketer was in court suspected of burglary during the recent riots. The judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.

At a sports store — Customer: Do you have jogging shorts?

A drunk man stumbles upstairs into his bedroom, waking his wife. She sits up and sees the man carrying a sheep underneath his arm.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket.