Home Life Lessons Dear Heather Welcome to the Potty!

Welcome to the Potty!

Heather Kobler

Yep! I said Potty. Every ten years after 50 years of age, you are required to have a colonoscopy to detect colon cancer. It’s a proactive test that can save your life.

So, you see your doctor and during the examination your doctor asks when you had your last colonoscopy.  Of course you don’t remember when, but you do remember what you went through, that’s for sure.  This is my question; “Where does all that crap come from?  You can’t believe how much stuff can exit your body and at Mach speed too!

You go to your pharmacy, give them the Rx and they tell you which aisle you can find the Simethicone Tablets on.  So you go looking and looking because you won’t find anything called Simethicone anywhere.  However, if they told you to get “Gas Relief” tablets your search would have gone much faster!

On the first day you do not eat any solid food.  You can drink broths, clear liquids and eat Jell-O.  You have to have 200 calories each hour to keep your sugar level as stable as possible.  I drank French Onion and Chicken Noodle soup that were strained and it was awesome.  I’m surprised how easy it was and how good I felt throughout the day.

At 5:00 pm the night before my test, I begin by mixing another pouch of the A stuff with a pouch of B stuff, then add water and shake.  If you’re smart, you add two individual packages of Crystal Light lemonade mix and if you’re smarter still, drink the potion through a straw.  It’s easier that way because the straw helps the mixture go down your gullet much easier!

It takes about an hour to drink this mixture and I binge watch a couple of things On Demand until the flood gates start to do their thing.  Initially, I begin counting how many trips I make to the John, but then I decide to stop counting because I have to concentrate on reaching the crapper (aptly named) without leaking any of this stuff where it didn’t belong.  Believe me, I have several “photo finishes” during this process.

So it’s the morning of the actual test and the second batch of the A and B potion go down in record time, because I know I’m almost at the end of that tunnel.

I have friends who had a colonoscopy who had no symptoms and literally saved their lives because of the test.  Removing a polyp is a simple snip, and it sure beats removing a tumor!  Bottoms Up!

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