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Redneck Vasectomy

7 min read

We Remember Joe

It’s been a very long week. I’m so tired and I have yet so much to do for my loyal clients. Love you guys. Tired but I’m happy.

It’s almost midnight (the time I should launch this email) and I have yet to put my thoughts together. I want to honor some people today. Here goes.

The enemy was in Joe’s sight. Hunched down to avoid detection, his disheveled foe is a trigger away from death. The man tinkers with his pouch for something. And then he freezes … as if he is suddenly aware of Joe’s presence. He turns around. Their eyes meet. Time stands still.

Since he was a kid, Joe watched action-packed movies about war. His parents bought him plastic soldiers that he would position in different parts of his backyard mountain. Then he would use his BB rifle and shoot each soldier down. He had guns of different shapes and colors and bullets made of sponges and plastic balls. His favorite cloth pattern? Camouflage. His favorite footwear? Army boots. Favorite haircut? Buzz. When he got older he would join his Dad to campfires in the wilderness and hunt deer. When they finally gunned one down, his Dad showed him how to carve the venison to preserve the trophy skin back to Mom in the city. By all accounts, little Joe was preparing for a career in the military.

Those days of pretend are over. Tucked in the shadows of the bushes in the evening forest, Joe now holds a stranger’s destiny in his hands. Does he pull the trigger? Does he grant him life? “Don’t do it. Don’t reach for your gun,” Joe pleads under his breath. But his foe instinctively pulls out the pistol from his pouch. Joe has no choice. A single shot blasts in the darkness. A body drops to the ground. Silence. Joe weeps for a life he has stolen. He steps out of his cover to look at his fallen adversary. Another shot rings out. Joe’s knees buckle. His lips kiss the dirt. His vision slowly fades. There is no pain only blood. And then there is darkness.

How many Joes have left us too soon?  How many parents will never know the story of their lost sons and daughters? An idealistic slogan labeled World War I as the “war that would end all wars” but no wishing star could grant this. As long as there are differences in the details of achieving happiness, fulfillment, and fairness, we will depend on our children to defend our freedom … knowing full well that they will be facing other children on the opposite side.

“Too long have I lived among those who hate peace. I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war.”
— Psalm 120: 6-7

Monday is Memorial Day where we in America, honor our deployed soldiers who didn’t make it back home. Thank God for all the Joes who defended our Land of the Free. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

TGIF people!

Redneck Procedure

Shared by Tom of Pasadena

Redneck Vasectomy

This joke is dedicated to my friend Jerry who got “fixed” last Wednesday. — Raoul

funny video

Candid Camera: Sitting Too Close for Comfort
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Did you ever have an intimate conversation in a restaurant while a curious stranger beside you heard every word? Awkward.

WATCH VIDEO

funny video

Africa: The Music
Sent by Charlie of New Jersey

Toto’s popular song “Africa” rendered by Peter Bence — a one-man-band doing the piano and percussion in a pretty cool electronic way.

WATCH VIDEO

funny video

‘Be Thou My Vision’ by Kaoma Chende
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Another one-man-band. This time he is from Zambia. CLICK HERE to read his story.

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Mexican magician

Parting Shots

Thanks to Debbie of Moreno Valley who shared this photo

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8 Comments

  1. TGIF Reader

    May 25, 2018 at 10:22 am

    I appreciate the shout out for “getting fixed”. If this was supposed to be a vasectomy, a terrible mistake has occurred.

    I’m doing well. Thanks for thinking of me.

    I laughed when I saw my name. Thank you. And thanks for keeping me in your prayers.

    Jerry

    Reply

  2. TGIF Reader

    May 25, 2018 at 10:24 am

    Great Memorial Day story

    Warren

    Reply

  3. TGIF Reader

    May 25, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    Hey Raoul,

    Without a Tres… Really? How bouts the Four Mexicans were in a row boat? They couldn’t swim, and all of a sudden the boat sprung a leak and was quickly going under. Well you might say “Quatro Sinko…”

    About Memorial Day. Did you real All Quiet On the Western Front? It was required reading in some schools. Did you know that Hitler and the Nazis’ banned if from being shown in Germany? Short but very compelling.

    God bless you

    Chuck (Joe)

    Reply

  4. TGIF Reader

    May 26, 2018 at 3:36 am

    Loved the jokes and the videos. It was nice to watch them while i was having a leisurely breakfast.

    Choy from the Greater Manila Area

    Reply

  5. TGIF Reader

    May 26, 2018 at 3:37 am

    Thank you for reminding us about this weekend – when I was young I spent my summers in Sioux Falls – South Dakota – I always helped my gramma decorate all of our family graves on this weekend – they were all in the military – I will never forget it – have a great weekend – I am also tired – I have 2 granddaughters spending the weekend (5 & 2). I am having a hard time keeping up – but happy & smiling nonetheless.

    Teri. Norwalk California

    Reply

  6. TGIF Reader

    May 26, 2018 at 3:37 am

    The need for birth control regardless of language, hahaha!

    Betty of Australia

    Reply

  7. TGIF Reader

    May 27, 2018 at 11:26 am

    great issue with great drawings and the videos were a stitch, Thanks

    Tom de Pasa

    Reply

  8. TGIF Reader

    May 28, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    That is funny

    Best Regards,
    Fernando

    Reply

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