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Rules for Sons

January 5, 2018
Just a Guy Named Bob

I received terrible news this Thursday morning. Bob, one of my best friends from my college years suddenly passed away. It’s hard to find humor for my column today so I apologize in advance if you were expecting the usual fun. Instead, this issue is more about “passing on”— passing on advice, passing on memories and passing on to eternity.

Bob was my classmate in my first freshman college class. We were on our road to becoming engineers. From the outset he had that air of confidence and that dry sense of philosophical humor. He was a smart kid with the numbers. But numbers were never my friends so I changed majors and our social circles swirled in other directions.

Then when I transferred to GWU in Washington DC, I saw this familiar face crossing the pedestrian lane going the opposite direction. We both stared at each other in disbelief. “Hey! Are you who I think you are?!?!” A little laugh, a nervous tap on the back and that was it. We were acquaintances more than friends. Again our “circles” did not mesh.

Several months later, I had friends with guitars and voices and we started a band. Someone mentioned he knew a guy who also played the guitar. In fact, this guy won a town talent contest playing a classical guitar piece. Of course it turned out to be Bob. From the day of our first practice together we became best of friends. He even became a relative because he married my cousin.

After college we parted ways. History passed underneath the geographical bridges of our lives. And it wasn’t until a few years ago when I visited the East coast to bury a mutual friend that I was able to spend quality time with him in his home. He even lent me his car for as long as I needed it. We talked about religion and politics and everything in between. To survive those topics means we were really friends.

Last November he was having difficulty keeping food inside his stomach. I talked to him on the phone and he was despondent but he seemed to be getting better. I told him when I got back from Nigeria that I would come and visit. But around Christmas time they said he was getting better and there was no longer any urgency to visit. I planned to go this month. So the news this morning was shocking and devastating. I will be flying to the East coast to pay my respects.

Unfinished conversations, a warm touch on his shoulder, a joke left to share, a song yet to be sung … who is the Bob in your life? Go! Call! It’s the first week of a new year. It’s a good time to tell him you care.

So long Bob. So long.

TGIF people!

Rules for My Sons

Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

[Not a joke for the most part but good practical wisdom]

  1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
  2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
  3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
  4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
  5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.
  6. Request the late check-out.
  7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
  9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
  10. Don’t fill up on bread.
  11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
  12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
  13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
  14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
  15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
  16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
  17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
  18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
  19. Never turn down a breath mint.
  20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.
  21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
  22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
  23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.
  24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
  25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
  26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
  27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
  28. See it on the big screen.
  29. Give credit. Take the blame.
  30. Write down your dreams.

TGIF Videos

fascinating video

Lost in the Fifties
Sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Your life will flash before you with this video if you were alive during the fifties.

WATCH

Parting Shot

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who provided this photo

Be Kind

Live in Peace

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10 Comments

  1. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    Sorry to hear about Bob, indeed. Great gesture to be there for his funeral. Blessings on your mission, Raoul.

    Joel

    Reply

  2. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Hi Raoul,

    Happy New Year to YOU and US. We made it! Like you, the end of the year and the start was filled with notices of dear ones passing on too. Warm thoughts and prayers go your way on the passing of your friend Bob from this life. You sure do look to the Lord for answers, like the words to the song says,

    “Why me Lord? What have I ever done
    To deserve even one of the pleasures I’ve known
    Tell me Lord what did I ever do to deserve loving You
    And the kindness You’ve shown

    Lord heavenly Jesus, I praise Him so help me Jesus
    I know what I am now that I know that I needed You
    So help me Jesus, my soul’s in Your hands

    Try me Lord, if You think there’s a way
    I can ever repay all I’ve taken from You
    Maybe Lord I can show someone else
    What I’ve been through myself on my way back to You

    Lord heavenly Jesus, I praise Him so help me Jesus
    I know what I am now that I know that I needed You
    So help me Jesus, my soul’s in Your hands

    Jesus my soul’s in Your hands

    One day you and I friend will know. Sat. before new year’s we attended a funeral for Mario Delatorre who I met in 1962 at my new job in real estate, and we became neighbors and continued doing business together. We would see then occasionally at the Hollywood Bowl for summer concerts. Also on Monday we received a call from a long time friend, Lani Stapp, they are in their 80’s and her husband, Ladell at 85 and still ski’s! Lani called to tell me that our mutual friend Tom Herbert passed way the day before. That can’t be so he’s younger that me! Tom was a fellow member of the awesome Jehu’s Car Club of So Cal- actually it was Echo Park / Silverlake area of Los Angeles. We were named after Jehu in 1 Kings where he is spotted from the fortress wall and identified as one who drives his chariot furiously. Tom drove his prized 1957 Plymouth Fury like that! Our car club plak was of a Charioteer driving a chariot, but in place of a horse was a V-8 engine. We first had club meeting in what had been part of the old Max Sennet Studios; from silent movie days located on Glendale Blvd. It is now a storage facility.

    In my business, like as in many, your good customers become your friends. To me a good customer wasn’t one necessarily that gave you a lot of business, but one that gave you all they could direct. Wayne Horino was one of those customers. Last we met was for breakfast at Arthur’s Greatest Breakfast in Town in La Habra and we promised to meet again. We spoke several times by phone – he was a real estate broker and worked from home and we said we would get together again soon. On Monday January 3, 2018 I received an email from his wife – now widow, April giving me the sad news that Wayne had passed unexpectedly on Oct. 20, 2016. I told her that we had breakfast at Arthur’s. She said that was his favorite and he would meet there with a God Son to enjoy a meal and mentor him. His parents were in Taiwan. That sounded just like the man I remembered. Good memories of both Wayne and Mario. The main memory is how much their families loved them. That speaks volumes.

    Here is one more thing that might have been added to Things to Tell Your Son – and all Friends. I am so grateful that God gave me one wife and that is Linda Belle for my wife for life.

    When you contemplate divorce remember this:

    Your wife’s parents (Or husband for daughters)

    will always be your children’s grampa and gramma.

    They will still be part of your family and your life forever – ‘until death do us part’.

    Holidays can be trying at times – but add 2 families to the mix and ….

    One of the things often overlooked is what the Bible tells us:

    “God Hates Divorce.”

    Blessings my brother,

    (:>}) – Chuck

    Reply

  3. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    Sorry for your loss Raoul
    Take care

    Michael

    Reply

  4. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    Sobering realities we are facing more frequently at this season of life.
    Pray for our eyes to be open, our hearts confident and spirit ready to plant seed and harvest grain daily.

    All the best,

    Melanie

    Reply

  5. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    Hey there Raoul…

    Sorry to hear about your friend. Thinking of you and praying for you.

    Sam

    Reply

  6. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    Hi Raoul,

    Happy new year! Sorry to hear about your friend.

    Art

    Reply

  7. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    Raoul, I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing ok.

    Carol

    Reply

  8. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    This is one of the best pieces you’ve ever written. I’m guessing it’s because it comes from the deepest part of your heart. It is so difficult to lose someone that you admire, respect and love.

    Heather

    Reply

  9. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    My sincere condolences on the passing of Bob and thanks for reminding me to reach out to a friend of mine who has suffered Loss.

    Tom

    Reply

  10. TGIF Reader

    March 2, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    So Sorry For Your Loss.
    I have friends from the 1st grade and know what it means for a close friend
    to pass away.
    I will have him in my prayers.

    Mike

    Reply

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