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Sorry No Laughs Today Again

He’s Gone

WARNING: Very personal letter. Not in a funny mood. Let’s joke around next week.

I woke up just before 6am Friday (Philippine Time). I walked into my Dad’s room and his caretaker and his house help were huddled around him in disbelief. The house help mumbled something that I didn’t understand but when I saw Dad’s lifeless body, I knew what she was trying to say. I reached for his chest. He was no longer breathing. His heart had stopped beating. Dad had passed on to eternity. Both of them looked at me for instructions. I knew there was a lot of work ahead.

I had rehearsed going through this moment ever since I arrived here over 2 weeks ago. And now that it’s here, it’s a little different. I started to go through the checklist in my head: First, have a video conference with my sisters, then inform the Kapitan Del Barrio (the Barrio Captain), get the doctor’s death certificate, inform the city registrar, inform the funeral home, get a priest, inform the cemetery, wrap up his finances, inform the relatives, etc. It’s the end of the long day and I still need to make arrangements tomorrow. My surviving sisters are giving me advice and moral support but they can’t come so I’m doing this with the help of the people around me.

I have not shed a tear yet. I think it’s the Adrenalin that put my emotions aside. I remember that this also happened when my Mom passed away. It was months later that I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. “I’ll weep for you Dad, but today is not the day. Today, I have to make sure you have a good final goodbye.”

I appreciate all the kind thoughts and prayers. There are a lot of you. And for that, my father and I are truly blessed. TGIF people!

“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.”
—- John 11:25-26

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14 Comments

  1. Brenda

    December 5, 2022 at 11:01 am

    Hi Raoul,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I was unable to be with my mother when she died. It is a privilege to be there when they pass.
    May his memory be a blessing.
    Sending healing thoughts.
    Brenda

    Reply

  2. Bobby

    December 5, 2022 at 11:01 am

    Hi Raoul,

    Deepest condolence for the passing of your dad. May he rest in peace in the loving arms of our Lord Jesus. 🙏🙏🙏

    You are an exemplar of a devoted and loving son. Your parents in heaven are beaming with pride to have you as their beloved son. May God bless you and give you the strength to go on with your life.

    Bobby

    Reply

  3. Meg

    December 5, 2022 at 11:02 am

    Hi Raoul,

    I wanted to send you a quick note to say I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know from experience that even if you are expecting it, loss is very hard.

    I’m sure your family is so grateful that you are there. Hang in there.

    All the Best,

    Meg

    Reply

  4. Debra

    December 5, 2022 at 11:02 am

    Greetings Dear Brother,

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. What a difficult time this is for you and your family Being in shock can often times be an understatement. May God continue to strengthen you during this difficult time. God is glorified in your ability to handle the process of your fathers affairs for your family. God is glorified in your understanding of death that you will pass unto your family members. God is glorified in you just being you in Christ. Let the glory of God continue to shine in you brother. Much love in Christ!
    Debra.

    Reply

  5. Tom

    December 5, 2022 at 11:02 am

    Raoul,

    I am sorry for your loss but we know that your father is in a better place.

    I will keep your family in my prayers.
    Tom

    Reply

  6. Drexal

    December 5, 2022 at 11:03 am

    Raoul My Friend….prayers your father may rest-in-peace forever more….and best thoughts to you as you deal with the grieving process….your Father lived a good, long life and is now resting peacefully, may you find some peace with that yourself….your dedication to your family is impressive….Best wishes to you and the family….Regards

    Reply

  7. Mike

    December 5, 2022 at 11:04 am

    About the passing of your Father.
    Please send me his name, Deb and I want to send you a Mass card.

    May he rest in peace!

    Reply

  8. Bobby

    December 5, 2022 at 11:04 am

    Raoul,

    One thing nice about the way your dad passed away, he died on his sleep…

    Just like Gary Lising’s Lolo, he died while sleeping. Yun nga lang ung mga kamag anak ng mga pasahero ng Lolo niya sinisisi yung Lolo niya kung bakit sila na damay. 😂

    Hope this brought you a smile to lighten up your day. 😊

    Bobby

    Reply

  9. Shag

    December 5, 2022 at 11:05 am

    Deepest condolences to you and prayers for eternal life for your dad, Raoul. It’s hard to say goodbye to your last parent, realizing you are now an orphan. May God hold you in his arms and comfort you. God bless.

    Reply

  10. Oscar

    December 5, 2022 at 11:05 am

    Good Morning Raoul, I’m so sorry to hear about your Father. May God Rest his soul in peace. I’m praying for you and your family for our Lord Jesus to give you all the emotional strength you all need to also move forward in Life and in peace. Especially you Raoul, I could only imagine how much stuff needs to be done when a love one passes, and everything is left to one person to handle it . But you Know God is with you . Take care Brother and safe Travels and hopefully see you soon.
    Oscar

    Reply

  11. Corrine

    December 5, 2022 at 11:07 am

    Dear Raoul,

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing away of your Dad. I’m not sure if you received my reply to your email (I sent you a message last Nov 11) where I expressed relief and gladness that your Dad had improved a lot since you had arrived. The Lord blessed you this past week to be with your Dad before taking him home.

    I am so sorry for this late reply. I have had a very busy week and only this evening checked my email from the past few days and saw that you sent the message regarding your Dad’s passing last Nov 18, two days ago. I wish I knew how else to reach you to get the details of the wake of you Dad. I had asked you for a local contact number in my last message but am not sure if you got that one. Unfortunately I do not have a Facebook account so I don’t know how else to get any information.

    I have yet to inform my hisband about the passing of your Dad as he was asleep already by the time I saw your email late this evening.

    This must be so difficult for you to be without the rest of your family with you at this time. You said that your sisters cannot come home and of course your wife and your kids are away as well. Praying for the Lord to sustain you both physically, emotionally and spiritually as you find yourself with a long to-do list these next few days. May the Lord be your source of comfort, strength and peace as you bid one final farewell to your Dad.

    May our God of all hope and comfort be your constant companion during this time of grief.

    With our deepest condolences,

    Reply

  12. Lori and Henry

    December 5, 2022 at 11:09 am

    Hello. Raoul
    I glad to hear that you are back home safe
    Our condolences
    For by your father’s loss.
    From.

    Reply

  13. Edwin

    December 12, 2022 at 10:35 pm

    Raoul – that is a beautiful letter. Your words capture the mood and I felt like I was there while reading it.

    Needless to say, my heartfelt condolences to your and your family, but most especially to you. Death is part of life and we see those around us die, until we ourselves expire. There’s no end date to mourning but it will eventually turn into reverie. Be strong, friend, and be happy for him. God bless you.

    Sincerely,

    Edwin

    Reply

  14. Kai

    December 12, 2022 at 10:36 pm

    My deepest condolences po.

    Reply

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