Dear God, my prayer for 2021 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body.

Our doctor's office called to let my wife know that the results from her blood tests came back and she was just fine. That didn't suit my wife.

A woman goes to the grocery store to buy salt. "Have you any salt?" she asks the grocer.

The Germans and Americans were reaching a stalemate in WW2. In WW2 there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand.

If you have been a subscriber of my TGIF email for several seasons, you know that today (Good Friday) is the one Friday in the year when I do not share any jokes in deference to the Christian faith ... for it is on this day that Jesus was crucified on the cross because of His love for mankind.  If spiritual topics offend you, just move on and we'll see each other again next week.

Rodney Dangerfield told his doctor about all of his ailments, whereupon the doctor said, "I'll tell you what's wrong with you --- YOU'RE CRAZY!"