Home Raoul's TGIF Smart Kids

Smart Kids

6 min read
Raoul’s 2 Cents

Doc Hollywood

Last week I shared about Doctor Ka-Ching! This week it was Doc Hollywood.

The minute he entered, his radiance filled the room. This surgeon who was assigned to open my tummy looked like one of those gorgeous TV doctors. He had the proper wavy peppered hair that went slow motion when he flipped his head. Behind him were 2 female interns who were shadowing him that day. Actually, they looked more like 2 groovy backup singers following their rock -n-roll superstar. They didn’t say a word. They just smiled … and swooned at Doc Hollywood’s every breath.

“Drop your pants!” he barked. I looked at the 2 ladies and I thought “no way was I dropping my pants all the way down there.” I think Doc Hollywood understood my hesitancy and he also didn’t want anything to outshine his glory. So he examined me at “half mast.” I couldn’t look at the ladies but I could feel their stares.

“Cough! Aha! there it is! You definitely have a hernia… it’s alive! It’s alive!!! Nyah ha ha!” he declared while poking my lower abdomen like his little play-thing. And then it happened: He opened his mouth to begin his Academy award winning speech. The women’s jaws dropped as they savored the moment in unbridled ecstasy. Doc Hollywood delivered his doctoral dissertation of a hernia … something he probably recites 10 times a day. “Like the interior tube of a car tire,” he said, “hernias develop at the softest tissues of your internal organs. The “tube” jots out of your stomach whenever you exert pressure on it. There is no emergency. Some people live with hernias for years without even knowing it.” 

That was the last I remember because  the whole time he’s talking, I’m thinking “what kind of a car does he drive? I bet it’s a Porsche. I bet he golfs every day … has a different woman assigned for every night of the week and takes a Martini on the rocks  … shaken, not stirred.” At the end of his spiel I could have sworn I heard clapping and cheering from the balcony. He took a bow and he was gone… the two adoring fans dancing behind him. It was surreal.

So sometime mid-April I will have my appointment with destiny. Can you pray for me? I’ve never had an operation like this in my life. I’m not scared … more curious than scared. What would be real cool is if God were to grant me a miracle. How cool would that be if Doc Hollywood pokes around and doesn’t see any hernia?  We’ve got over 5 weeks to make this happen. Can I count on you?

TGIF people!

“I’m not suffering from insanity … I’m enjoying every minute of it.”
— Anonymous

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, BC for sending this old favorite joke.

Joke of the Week: Smart Kids

Video of the Week

funny video

Archie Bunker Meets His Doctor
Sent by Mike of New York

Here’s a classic from the famous sitcom of the 70s. For those who are not familiar, Archie was the epitome of a prejudiced ultra right blue collar simpleton.

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Don's Puns: For the Record

Heavy Thought of the Week

Sent by Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

Heavy Thought of the Week: Average Dog

Parting Shot

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this.

Parting Shot: Michael Foot

 

Load More Related Articles
  • Made Up Words preview

    Made Up Words

    Humpty Dumoty said, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither m…
  • Betting Grandpa preview

    Grandpa’s Bet

    The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was n…
  • Confrontation preview

    The Confrontation

    Wife told husband: "After you finish watering the plants, we need to talk about something …
Load More By Raoul Pascual
  • Made Up Words preview

    Made Up Words

    Humpty Dumoty said, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither m…
  • Betting Grandpa preview

    Grandpa’s Bet

    The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was n…
  • Confrontation preview

    The Confrontation

    Wife told husband: "After you finish watering the plants, we need to talk about something …
Load More In Raoul's TGIF

12 Comments

  1. Heather

    May 29, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    You are sooo funny! Once it’s over, you’ll wonder why you worried. I can get you to “ordeal” and back, just let me know.

    Reply

    • Raoul

      May 29, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      Thanks for offering to drive. My wife said she’s do it.

      I’m actually more concerned about my back that hurts more than my front.

      TGIF!

      Reply

      • Heather

        May 29, 2019 at 4:45 pm

        See your chiropractor.

        Reply

  2. Marilyn

    May 29, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    TGIF
    thanks

    Reply

  3. Tom

    May 29, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    I will pray for you ! I had a hernia while serving in the Coast Guard in Alaska carrying acetylene tanks up bills and cliffs to
    Run Aides to Navigation. Went to a Navy Hospital for the operation and the day after the operation had me carrying fire wood for the place, mopping decks and other deeds to help the staff.
    I survived by typing my own light duty Slip.
    You will be fine Take Care and be Brave. Tom

    Reply

    • Raoul

      May 29, 2019 at 4:46 pm

      What?!? You carried fire wood after your operation?!? You’re crazier
      than me! Well, I guess hernias are nothing compared to the wounded soldiers.

      Thanks for the assurance that this is as easy as I think it is.

      TGIF!

      Reply

      • Tom

        May 29, 2019 at 4:47 pm

        Wasn’t too bad. Another impediment for me was being in a Navy Hospital wearing Coast Guard uniform. The Hazing was the worst part. Tom

        Reply

  4. Tom L

    May 29, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    Will there be a video of your procedure after it is all over?

    Speaking of videos, do not watch the movie “Alien” before the event.

    You’ll be all right. I understand your apprehension. My first invasive surgery was in my mid-50s at the first of two cataract operations (one on each eye).

    Have faith.

    Tom

    Reply

  5. Fernando

    May 29, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Raoul,

    these ones were very funny

    Best Regards,
    Fernando

    Reply

  6. Rommie

    May 29, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Hi Bro,
    Sure, will pray for you and God’s will.
    We will pray for Doc Hollywood too!
    Take care Bro!
    God bless.

    Rommie & Susan

    Reply

  7. Vanessa

    May 29, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    We will be praying for you Raoul!

    Vanessa & Tony 🙂

    Reply

  8. Lois

    May 29, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    I just got around to last week’s hilarious TGIF. The illusions were so funny. I need that doctor’s phone number.

    BTW, you meant to say that the tube jets out (not jots out).

    Lois

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

Made Up Words

Humpty Dumoty said, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither m…