I'm as bored as an Amish electrician.

The bidding was proceeding furiously and strong at the auction house when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced: “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand pounds. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand pounds.”

Benjamin listened intently as Rabbi Greenbaum read from the Bible. "May I ask a question?" Ben asked.

Betty was lying in bed one night. Don was falling asleep but Betty was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting..."

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

The day after his ex-wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, Mr. Frykenberg answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers.

It's not how you win or lose...