There was plenty of cheering, meowing, chirping, and woofing in Orlando, Florida this past March 23rd. The American Pet Products Association (APPA) and Pet Industry Distributors Association (PIDA) announced the winners of the 13th annual New Products Showcase Awards.

I'm as bored as an Amish electrician.

The bidding was proceeding furiously and strong at the auction house when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced: “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand pounds. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand pounds.”

Benjamin listened intently as Rabbi Greenbaum read from the Bible. "May I ask a question?" Ben asked.

Betty was lying in bed one night. Don was falling asleep but Betty was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting..."

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

The day after his ex-wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, Mr. Frykenberg answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers.

It's not how you win or lose...