A doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss."

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzales. "How was he killed?" asked one detective.

A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning. His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

When discussing the drink labeled Screwdriver I was informed there's also one called Pile Driver -- prune juice and vodka. WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES?

Being drunk in public is against the law: Despite what many tourists believe about the Irish and our drinking habits, drinking in public is actually illegal across Ireland. The only day of the year when this law is slightly bent is on St. Patrick’s Day when there simply aren’t enough police officers to monitor the one million plus tourists on the streets of Dublin.