Celibacy can be a choice on life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

A woman was cranky because her husband had been coming home late every night. Today was especially bad because he decided to work late and it was Thanksgiving morning. So she decided to leave a note saying, "I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me" and she hid under the bed to watch his reaction.

After more than 40 years of marriage, a woman's husband suddenly died. For several months she sat alone in her house with the shades pulled and the doors locked.

My wife apologized for the first time ever today.

Pharmacist to a customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription."

My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy enough.

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up a woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and the money.

A married couple celebrate their 25th marriage anniversary with a lot of fanfare. They are the 'most infamous couple'of the city for not having a single conflict during their 25 long years of marriage! The local news came to interview them...

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

Wife: It's the holiday season and I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.