A man and his wife walks into a dentist's office. The man says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic. I don't have time for the gums to get numb."
Interviewer: "So tell me about yourself."
An elderly couple have dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives leave the table and go into the k,itchen. The two gentlemen are talking and one says, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The policewoman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?" The policewoman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
A police officer stops Cooter for speeding and asks him if he could see his license. He replies in a huff, "Dang it! I wish you guys'd git your acts togedder! Just yesterday you took away me license."
Harry Caray was speeding down the highway when he was pulled over by a police officer, who approached and told him he was speeding.
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
Betty was lying in bed one night. Don was falling asleep but Betty was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting..."