The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

A police officer stops Cooter for speeding and asks him if he could see his license. He replies in a huff, "Dang it! I wish you guys'd git your acts togedder! Just yesterday you took away me license."

Harry Caray was speeding down the highway when he was pulled over by a police officer, who approached and told him he was speeding.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

Betty was lying in bed one night. Don was falling asleep but Betty was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting..."

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

Every day whether I want to or not, I ask myself if I still have all my marbles. I had lots of them when I was young, but I kept them in a tiny little leather bag that I carried to school every day. Weather permitting, I would try to win someone else’s cat’s eye, boulder, shooter, biggie or aggie if I could.

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car — both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.