Home Life Lessons Dear Heather The Super Duper Extended Family

The Super Duper Extended Family

Heather Kobler

Families can be a very powerful thing and sometimes a negative one as well.  But remember this, you do not have to be biologically linked to people for them to become part of your family.  You just have to love them and they become a part of the family forever, if you’re lucky.  Drama of any kind should never be part of a family because it belongs on the stage, not in your home.


When a family doesn’t want to invite non-related people into their lives, or doesn’t want to let its members out of the inner circle to meet others, everyone losses.  Expanding your field of vision is a good thing because, we are more alike than we are different.  For Pete’s sake, our parts are even interchangeable!

Staying connected to others is like tending a garden and it takes work.  You must water, feed, prune and fertilize to keep things growing.  And, sometimes you have to remove one of those things.  But if you do the work, everything blooms and thrives.

I grew up in a three story brownstone and students from all over the country rented little sleeping rooms upstairs while they went to college in Chicago.  For most tenants, it was the first time they were away from home and they were home sick.  They all loved my parents and us kids because we reminded them of home.  There was always room for one more at the table, lots to eat and someone to listen to their hopes, dreams, and fears.  And sometimes to help wipe away their tears.

Damon Runyon invented some amazing characters in his short stories that you came to love because of their “earthiness”.  You might not remember the plot of “Guys and Dolls”, but you’ll never forget its characters like; Sky Masterson, Nathan Detroit, Sorrowful Jones, Marky.  Most of my parent’s friends were a lot like the characters I mentioned and they had stories to tell.

The students I met and the fictional characters I met by reading, have left an indelible impression in my mind. Besides the students that came and went for years, my parents invited many different people into our lives that still live in my memories.   I know this is why I see things in panoramic vision.  I’m grateful that I met all those wonderful people while I was growing up, and by reading throughout my life.  I still smile when I remember all of them decades later.

I think we can all get inspiration from the characters we’ve met in life.  And, reading a good book, or seeing a good movie and taking the time to savor the images conjured up in your mind from these experiences is delicious!  Who could ever forget “To Kill a Mocking Bird” or “Gone with the Wind”?  Both books became blockbusters movies and both of them taught us things to do and things we should never do!   Your life is like a script, and you can change directions anytime you wish.  You don’t even need a magic wand for that!

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One Comment

  1. Betty

    May 27, 2018 at 4:26 am

    Can you adopt me? I have no family.


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