8 Hours of Health Care Hell
Last Saturday, Martha, an elderly friend of mine, fell down a steep staircase. She fractured a few ribs and I believe a crack on her skull. A split second imbalance caused all of that grief.
Yesterday afternoon I was feeling weird. Either it was a strained muscle on my left chest or it was some heart palpitation. Remembering Martha and the outcome of a wrong decision, I wondered if I should go to the ER just in case. With much hesitation, I dragged myself to the ER and that was the start of an 8 hour ordeal.
Dr. H, came in smiling. He spoke softly and walked softly. Reminded me of a sinister James Bond Villain: “Good afternoon, Mr. Bond. How are you feeling? Palpitations? Hmmm … do you have trouble breathing? Does your chest feel heavy? Have you had an EKG? Hmmm … you’ll love my EKG,” he insisted with a smile.
All they did was give me tests: checked my blood pressure, took blood samples, took an x-ray … but strangely, they did not give me any kind of medication. Not even water.
But I saw through their dastardly grin. I know what they were really thinking: “How much money can we squeeze out of this poor unfortunate soul?”
I was there since about 4pm. At about 6pm, Dr, H comes back in. “Your tests seem to be pretty normal … except for your blood pressure!” (Thunder clapping in the distance.)
“Great! So … can I go now?” I asked.
Dr, H just looked at me intently … sizing me up from head to toe. Searching for a flaw … a face twitch or a stammer. “Actually,” he said, “I want to have you stay overnight and observe your condition.” (Thunder clapping in the distance.)
“What?!?! No way! I have too much to do.” I shrieked. “Not even for your famous EKG!”
Dr. H just looked at me like a raptor about to snap my heart out. He told me to wait in the ER. And so I did. During my “imprisonment” he would come by but he would never say anything to me. Deliberately avoiding eye contact. I think he was secretly observing me — waiting for me to fall off my chair! But I didn’t. At 1:30 they decided to release me from confinement. Actually, I was having too much fun joking with the other patients — their plan backfired. So $155 and 8 hours later, I finally made it back home.
That’s why I am so tired and sleepy. I only had about 4 hours sleep last night. I can’t go on writing. I certainly don’t want to meet Dr, H again. Good night.
“Do you want to speak to the doctor in charge or the nurse that knows what’s going on?
— Anonymous
TGIF people!
The Young Doctor
Shared by Don of Kelowna, B.C.
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor’s room.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “This woman is 68 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!”
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, …“Does she still have the hiccups?
Bladder Problem
Shared by Mel of Washington, D.C.
Cats vs. Cucumbers
Sent by Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.
If you’ve got a cat, have you tried this? Does it really scare them? Poor kitty. I asked my son about it and he said the video’s old and that he would never traumatize his cat like that. What do you think?
Amazing Heartwarming Magic
Sent by Sent by Tom of Pasadena
Heartwarming Magic? Is that even possible? Decide for yourself.
Don’s Puns
From Don’s collection of puns
Parting Shot
Thanks to Tom of Pasadena who shared this photo
People from all over the world send him jokes and Raoul sends those jokes back with his original sketches. 
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:01 pm
Thanks Raoul
Marilyn
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:03 pm
Your intro sounded so familiar, but to a friend I took to Arcadia Methodist ER. We sat in the waiting room for 12 hours. The People watching was fascinating — Drunk Drivers in handcuffs, Korean contractor with wounded head, Drug Addicts, Homeless with all their posse shins and those with many physical and mental problems.
Amazing group of people all needing help.
I spoke with several and thanked God for my health and said a prayer for those assembled. My friend was. Finally admitted.
Tom
Raoul
May 4, 2018 at 9:13 pm
I had very similar people watching too. And yes, I felt fortunate that I wasn’t as bad a shape as the others.
One of my friends refused to go when he was feeling palpitations. He waited too long. The ambulance came, brought him to Arcadia Methodist, and then he was gone.
He was a young 50 years old.
God’s keeping us here for a reason.
TGIF Tom!
Raoul
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:04 pm
I know your readers will get a kick out of this and identify because everybody’s had a visit like that at some point in their life. Have a good weekend.
Heather
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:06 pm
Raoul–I’ve enjoyed reading your blog or commentaries on life and situations, longer than for the 2 weeks in the subject line.
However, this week and last have been good jokes like from a long while ago. Not that I haven’t gotten a kick out of what you sent, but I really like this style, and these last 2 weeks. The lobster joke, is a 10, but about a 3 with women! I love it. Thanks, I needed some new material.
Be good.
PS Did you happen to ask the doctor if your blood pressure was too low or too high?
–Jeff
Raoul
May 4, 2018 at 9:08 pm
Thanks Jeff,
Yeah, sometimes no new jokes come. I only rely on what people give me. On rare occasions I get some new stuff on my own. Many times the jokes are funny but political, sexual or too religious …ie. controversial … maybe the original jokesters like George Carlyn are dying out.
You should send me your new ones. I know you get a lot of them.
Blood pressure’s too high but I’ve always had that. The new prescription seems to be working. I hate to take these artificial pills … rather like natural herbs and stuff. But I guess these will have to do for now.
TGIF!
Raoul
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:10 pm
Raoul–I know you are limited to what get’s sent to you. You and one of my buddys (80+) have been my joke sources for the last 15 years, plus or minus. What I like about your jokes is that they are clean, not sexual. People are impressed that I have clean jokes. It’s like a novelty to them that there is such a thing as a clean joke.
I had one I thought about send you a couple of weeks ago, and then decided it was one of yours from a long time ago.
TGIF Reader
May 4, 2018 at 9:11 pm
By the way, the lobster joke: I have gotten the hardiest laughs on that one, than any other over the years, I think. I’ve only told it about, say 8 times this past week and six of the people say, ‘that is sick’, and still love it. Turns out women are quite as enamored with it as the men. Maybe I need to switch it up and have it be the x husband’s body found. I wonder if that would help.
–Jeff
TGIF Reader
May 5, 2018 at 8:10 pm
I hope you’re feeling better now, and I’m so sorry that you went through eight hours of health care hell. I can do you one better. I suffered through weeks of being presumed dead.
A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from my medical insurance that announced my demise. I took a picture of the letter and texted it to my two daughters with the note “Is there something you girls have been meaning to tell me?” Their responses weren’t as flippant as my remark. One said, “Uh oh. This is not good.” The other daughter responded “We need to fix this ASAP,” and she put her money where her mouth was, spending many hours with me as I made numerous phone calls and accompanying me on one of my trips to the Social Security office. It was amazing how fast the wheels were put into motion to ruin my life. My medical insurance was cancelled, my bank account was seized, and it took three trips to the Social Security Office before the deceased status was removed from my records. Through it all, I tried to maintain my sense of humor. At one point I asked my daughter to accompany me to the Social Security office so that I could offer to breathe on a mirror. As she and I sat in the SS office waiting, I turned to her and said, “Consider this a rehearsal.” In summary, let me say that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Lois