The bidding was proceeding furiously and strong at the auction house when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced: “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand pounds. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand pounds.”

During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand, the eccentric boss dares any of his employees to jump into the crocodile-infested pond and swim to the shore.

After more than 40 years of marriage, a woman's husband suddenly died. For several months she sat alone in her house with the shades pulled and the doors locked.

My wife apologized for the first time ever today.

Pharmacist to a customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription."

My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy enough.

Hi Mark, This is Tom next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get the courage to tell you face-to-face.

Wife: It's the holiday season and I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at the entrance to the building: EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER WANTED – POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair. But, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing...