Humpty Dumoty said, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less." Below are very succinct words that have not yet made it to the dictionary.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

Wife told husband: "After you finish watering the plants, we need to talk about something I saw in your mobile phone..."

I picked up a hitch-hiker. Seemed like a nice guy.

Benjamin listened intently as Rabbi Greenbaum read from the Bible. "May I ask a question?" Ben asked.

Pharmacist to a customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription."

My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy enough.

After a long time I told my hot coworker how I felt.

If you have been a subscriber of my TGIF email for several seasons, you know that today (Good Friday) is the one Friday in the year when I do not share any jokes in deference to the Christian faith ... for it is on this day that Jesus was crucified on the cross because of His love for mankind.  If spiritual topics offend you, just move on and we'll see each other again next week.

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up a woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and the money.