Dear God, my prayer for 2021 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body.

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as she asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Do you have duck food here?"

A young Native American woman wen to a doctor for her first-ever physical exam.

Now is not the time to surround yourself with POSITIVE people.

At a sports store — Customer: Do you have jogging shorts?

A drunk man stumbles upstairs into his bedroom, waking his wife. She sits up and sees the man carrying a sheep underneath his arm.

A guy was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm," he complained.

The attorney tells the accused, " I have some good news and some bad news."

Tired of constantly being broke and unhappy in marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.