Grandma Witness

Trends of the Year

   2017 is off to a good start. Many of my clients have big plans and I'm helping them gear up with their marketing strategy.

   When planning, it's important to predict the future. So let's talk about trends for 2017. So far the colors that are coming out are purples and greens. Online sales will continue to outperform in-store purchases. Print media and established networks will continue to lose market share. People are getting more and more health conscious and so sweets and salts, red meat and fat are losing customers. I'd be worried if I were in the Fast Food and Junk Food business. Apple's share of the smart phone industry has skyrocketed ever since Samsung's batteries started to cause fires. However, Apple seems to have neglected their MAC computers resulting in less innovation so the latest PC platform is far more popular now. People are less trusting of mainstream media especially after they were so wrong in predicting the Presidential Elections. M Media is still in shock that half of the population don't like their comedy and their politics. I think they delusioned themselves. People are more discerning about news that are fabricated --- ones that are less objective and more agenda driven. I hope this is the end of the Hype-Makers. As far as entertainment goes, scripted shows are losing their audience to reality shows and Sports because the plots are all the same. Hollywood seems to be running out of original ideas --- they're just rehashing franchises. More and more people will be creating their own online videos now that technology has gotten simpler, cheaper and more widespread. Flash Mobs, acapellas and pet videos are still amusing but have lost their novelty. Interest in AI, 3-D, drones and energy will increase. There will be more new entrepreneurs and more non-profits this year than recent years.

   At least this is what I'm seeing. I hope you're ready. This is gonna be an exciting year! TGIF people!

Wisdom from Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

TGIF Quickie
Contributed by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

A fitting welcome to the new year.

Better to Take a Taxi
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, California

Friends,

I would like to share a personal experience about drinking and driving.

As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends.

Well, two days ago, this happened to me: I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several scotches followed by a couple of bottles of rather nice red wine and vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was way over the limit.

That's when I did something I've never done before -- I took a taxi home!! Sure enough, on the way there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it. So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.

Grandma Witness
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, California

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.

Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.

Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

Videos of the week:

What Chasidic Jews do on Christmas
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA
Warning: This may be offensive to some people

Are you still peeling off the vestiges of Christmas? I'm going out on a limb here. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I know that my Jewish friends won't mind --- they all have a great sense of humor. I hope you do too.

Snow Sliding Vehicles in Canada
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA

Some people like me can't stand snow. And this is one of the reasons why.

A Bridge for Santa
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA

When you believe ... magic happens. Who says you can't have Christmas all year 'round? There's no reason why the warmth in your heart should only be ignited during Christmas time. This video may be a few weeks too late but I'm still living the magic.

Lost in the 50s
Contributor: Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

As we move forward in this new year, it's interesting to look back a generation ago to see how far we've come. TGIF People! We're almost done with the 1st week of January! Before you know it, this year will look as ancient as the 50s today.