Thanksgiving Special

CHECKUP

So I had my medical checkup today. The doctor said I was going to last a couple more years. Good news I suppose. I told him that when I "go" I want a quick death. You see, I always play a little trick on my doctors. I know their job is to keep me alive so I go the opposite direction. I tell them I want to die. So if my body breaks down, they should just pull out the plug --- Save time! Save money! Truthfully, my back and my neck now hurts because someone pushed me from behind during my basketball game last night. I asked the doctor for Dr. Kavorkian's number. He told me he was already dead. So I told him to get in touch with a Hit Man. "Tell him I'm ready," I said. He laughed. I like this doctor.

    My previous doctor had no sense of humor. She prescribed some meds and exercise and a few weeks later, when she got the test results, she was happy to report a big improvement. She was eager to see my joyful reaction but instead, I put on my depressed look and told her I was upset because it meant I needed to live a few more years. She was not amused. She's no longer my doctor.

   As we approach Thanksgiving and reflect on our blessings, I'm thankful for my health. It's only when I'm sick or in pain that I stop taking it for granted. Really? You too? Wouldn't you agree this is something to be thankful for?

   Have a wonderful Thanksgiving my friend.

"The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting a gift. But Peter said, “We don’t have any money for you! But I’ll give you something else! I command you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!” Then Peter took the lame man by the hand and pulled him to his feet. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankle bones were healed and strengthened so that he came up with a leap, stood there a moment and began walking!" ---Acts 3:6

Wisdom from Chuck of Whittier, CA

Dinner Revelation
sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA
WARNING: May be crude for some of you

Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "Important thing is we're all together today."

Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from LA between depositions & didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived.

"Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town & I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college. Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and said, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?

"Yep", said the father, "Cheap ones too..."

Home Schooled
sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA and Rick of Chino Hills, CA

Don’t know why all the fuss about Home Schooling … most of our generation was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Ooops Go the Royal Guards
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Here's a collection of rare footage of the London Tower guards in their embarrasing best. I guess they're human after all.

Animation: Duet
Contributed by Sharlene of San Francisco, CA

A seamless transition of the stages of life from craddle to adulthood hand drawn by a seasoned Disney animator.

Dad Filmed Daughter Growing Up for 14 Years
Contributed by Terry of Santa Monica, CA

It might be frustrating growing up with a photographer Dad; especially if he insists that you pose every single week of your life. But, like many things, the fruits of one's labor of love can only be fully appreciated years after.

Forty Portraits in 40 Years
Contributed by Charlie of New York

This website is similar to the previous one in that it shows photos taken over time. But instead of one girl in 14 years, this website shows 4 sisters in 40 years.

Kitten Therapy
Contributed by Terry of Santa Monica, CA

Time to de-stress. Watch this if you need to relax --- really!

The Blue Pill Commercial
Contributed by Ernie and Mike of New York

I don't really like promoting a product but this one is clever, funny, and unexpected. If not for the subtitles I would never have guessed what product the commercial was for.

Father Kapaun
Contributed by Charlie of New York

The most decorated military chaplain in US history. A remarkable story about a remarkable man.

Airline's Lost and Found Solution
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Many airline passengers leave something when they disembark. I know I did years ago. I left a sketchbook of cartoon ideas that I planned to use for Travelingboy.com. Whoever got it got a real treasure because it's got my original artwork and thoughts. I should have flown this airline. Now this is what you call customer service.

Goat Riding Bicycle
Contributed by Ernie of New York

We end today's fun with this short and unusual scene in some impoverished part of the world. For you here in America have a wonderful Thanksgiving. For the rest of you join us in thanking God for all our blessings. TGIF People!