Dinner
Revelation sent
by Tom of Pasadena, CA WARNING: May be crude for some
of you
Their three kids,
all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
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"Happy
Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry
I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient,
you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
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"Not
to worry," said
the father. "Important thing is we're all together today."
Son
No. 2 arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad. I
just flew in from LA between depositions & didn't have time to shop
for you."
"It's
nothing," said
the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter
arrived.
"Hello
and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town &
I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished
dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I
have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor,
but we managed to send each of you to college. Through the years your
mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found
the time to get married."
The three children
gasped and said, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?

"Yep",
said the father, "Cheap ones too..."
Home
Schooled sent
by Tom of Pasadena, CA and Rick of Chino Hills, CA
Dont know why
all the fuss about Home Schooling
most of our generation was HOME
SCHOOLED in many ways.

1.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"
4. My father taught
me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach
is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can
take you out..."
13. My mother taught
me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught
me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do.
15. My mother taught
me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

16.
My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it from your father
when you get home!"
17. My mother taught
me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get
stuck that way."
18. My mother taught
me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19.
My father taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
20. My mother taught
me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught
me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

22.
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Just you look at that dirt on the back
of your neck?"
23. My mother taught
me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught
me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught
me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
you!"
New
Suit sent
by Tom of Pasadena, CA
Billy Graham
is now 92 years-old, and has Parkinson's disease. In January, leaders
in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son, Billy
Graham, to a luncheon in his honor.
Billy initially
hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson's
disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, 'We don't expect a major
address. Just come and let us honor you.' So he agreed.

After wonderful
things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked
at the crowd, and said:
"I'm reminded today
of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been
honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was
once traveling from Princeton on a train, when the conductor came
down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he
came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't
find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't
there. He looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he
looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.
"The conductor
said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you
are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'

"Einstein
nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching
tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around
and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking
under his seat for his ticket.
"The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr.
Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don't
need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'

Einstein looked
at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't
know is where I'm going.'"
Having
said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing?
It's a brand new suit. My children, and my grandchildren are telling
me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit
more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon
and one more occasion. You know what that occasion is? This is the
suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't
want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you
to remember this: I not only know who I am.
I also know where I'm going."
May your troubles
be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness, come
through your door. "Life without God is like an unsharpened
pencil --- it has no point."
Amen & Peace
My Friends. And may each of us have lived our lives so that when
our ticket is punched we don't have to worry about where we are
going.
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Videos of the week: (click on the picture)
Ooops
Go the Royal Guards Contributed
by Tom of Pasadena, CA
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Here's a collection of rare footage of the London
Tower guards in their embarrasing best. I guess they're human after
all.
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Animation:
Duet Contributed
by Sharlene of San Francisco, CA
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A seamless transition of the stages of life from
craddle to adulthood hand drawn by a seasoned Disney animator.
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Dad
Filmed Daughter Growing Up for 14 Years Contributed
by Terry of Santa Monica, CA
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It might be frustrating growing up with a photographer
Dad; especially if he insists that you pose every single week of
your life. But, like many things, the fruits of one's labor of love
can only be fully appreciated years after.
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Forty
Portraits in 40 Years Contributed
by Charlie of New York
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This website is similar to the previous one in that
it shows photos taken over time. But instead of one girl in 14 years,
this website shows 4 sisters in 40 years.
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Kitten
Therapy Contributed
by Terry of Santa Monica, CA
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Time to de-stress. Watch this if you need to relax
--- really!
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The
Blue Pill Commercial Contributed
by Ernie and Mike of New York
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I don't really like promoting a product but this
one is clever, funny, and unexpected. If not for the subtitles I
would never have guessed what product the commercial was for.
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Father
Kapaun Contributed
by Charlie of New York
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The most decorated military chaplain in US history.
A remarkable story about a remarkable man.
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Airline's
Lost and Found Solution Contributed
by Tom of Pasadena, CA
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Many airline passengers leave something when they
disembark. I know I did years ago. I left a sketchbook of cartoon
ideas that I planned to use for Travelingboy.com.
Whoever got it got a real treasure because it's got my original
artwork and thoughts. I should have flown this airline. Now this
is what you call customer service.
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Goat
Riding Bicycle Contributed
by Ernie of New York
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We end today's fun with this short and unusual scene
in some impoverished part of the world.
For you here in America have a wonderful Thanksgiving. For the rest
of you join us in thanking God for all our blessings. TGIF People!
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Comments
Anonymous
Sat, 01/31/2015 - 10:27
Permalink
Great Aunt Had Dinner with Einstein
Dear Raoul,
Thanks for your weekly newsletter.
I am especially pleased with the Einstein story, as my great aunt Saundra C. had Einstein over for dinner when her husband was teaching at Princeton.
She noticed that indeed, he wasn't wearing socks.
As for Billy Graham, I accepted Jesus as my Savior when my dad (he was the pastor of the Armenian Congregational Church in Fowler at the time) took me to an outdoor service in Fresno, CA. Recall he was a riveting speaker and I came forward to pray on the stage with him when he asked the audience if anyone wanted to be saved.
Thanks again,
Robert