The Farmer and the Lawyer


   I chatted with one of my TGIF subscribers over the weekend. He said he really enjoys my emails because it is so unique. Of course I was flattered and grateful for those kind words. But then he asked: "so how much traveling do I really do?"

   Traveling? I don't travel that much. I don't think so. As of last November I've been traveling more than any time in recent years but those were unusual circumstances. I don't think I travel more than most people. So why do I give out that impression?

   Some people wish they had money so they could travel but I think they should simply connect to more people.

    Honestly, I wish I didn't travel anymore. I'd rather stay in my "comfort zone." Many times I travel because I have to. Believe it or not I'm traveling today (Friday), I'm going out of town. I don't really know where. My wife is having a retreat somewhere --- she told me where but I forgot --- so I'm tagging along to keep her company. It doesn't make much difference. North, south, east, west --- all I know is it's a long drive. When I get there I know I'll just be staying in the hotel room. While my wife does her "thing" with her company, I will do my "thing" --- work on my laptop ... my virtual office will be there with me. Probably the highlight of my trip will be opening a new mini-shampoo bottle.

   Yes, traveling is over-billed. Life can be exciting anywhere you are. For me traveling is meeting people. Listening to their stories. And there are a lot of people to travel to.

   Use a little imagination and you can travel too.

"Come with me and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination"

--- Willy Wonka

Wisdom from Charlie of New Jersey
Words of Wisdom

"When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.

It is the same when you are stupid."

Thanks to this week's winners:
Charlie of New Jersey; Tom of Pasadena; Rodney of Manitoba and Mike of New York.

You can view this email
and send me
feedback online at

The Three Kick Rule: Farmer vs. the Attorney
Sent in by Tom of Pasadena, CA

A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Western Idaho. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to claim his bird, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The attorney responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am the best attorney in Birmingham, Michigan and, if you don't let me retrieve that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here in Western Idaho We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to
go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and, being the
person he was, decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff.
It sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you o-o-old ... ma-ma-man! Now it's my tu-tu-turn!"

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Caricatures at the Citrus Fair This Sunday
A public service announcement

In case you are in the La Habra, California area this Sunday, I will be doing caricatures in behalf of the La Habra Museum of History on Sunday from 1 to 4. All donations go to that organization. FYI, the Citrus Fair is the largest one of its kind (that's what they say) in the whole U.S.A. About 40,000 people will show up. Festivities start today (Friday) and continue till Sunday. There will be rides, singing, dancing, eating, learning and fun! For more info go to: Hope to see you there!

Videos of the week:

Mark Lowry Standup Comedy
Tom of Pasadena, CA

Don't Wake Me

Mark is one of those "clean comedians." No swearing. No dirty stuff. Hope you like it.

Sparks of Life: When Sperm Meets Egg
Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Sparks of Life

Scientists have discovered a flash of light that follows the union of the egg and the sperm. Fascinating.

Computer Ransom
Charlie of New Jersey

Computer Ransom

I want my TGIF readers to be aware of this. Many save their important documents in the cloud. I don't. I believe that anything on the web can be hacked into. Well, this article from Time Magazine is proof that you shouldn't rely on the internet. If you do, have a backup in some physical hard drive, I once reported a stolen laptop which I bought from ebay. I got the name and address of the seller but the police said they couldn't do anything because it was out-of-state. What an excuse!

Loving Vincent
Mike of New York

Loving Vincent

I don't usually plug movie trailers but this one's an exemption. I know there are a lot of impressionist fans out there. How cool is this? An animated movie of Vincent Van Gogh "painted" in his style. I hope the director doesn't overdo this and ... I hope this doesn't get boring.

Barbershop Gals
Tom of Pasadena, CA

Girl Barbershop Band

Let's end our time together with a joyous song by four energetic young ladies.

TGIF People!

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