Fisherman's Funeral

MOMENT BY MOMENT

   This TGIF issue is long. Very long. It's got long jokes and long videos. I think they're interesting and entertaining but they're just long. You wanna spend the next 2 hours doing nothing else? Then go ahead and read and watch everything. Otherwise, take a bite at a time. I know some of you rush through life and take a few stuff here and there and that's perfectly fine. That's what this email's all about anyway. Relax. Enjoy your time. Learn something.

   Watched a Robert De Niro movie called "Everyone's Fine." I cried. Yeah, I know. I'm a push over when it comes to family relationships. Gets me every time. But that movie hit home in many ways. I think of retirees who followed the road map that everyone follows. You know --- the one that says get an education, get a job, work hard, earn as much as you can for your family, etc.. To their chagrin, many senior citizens, in their sunset years discover that the road map also ends. Where do you go from there? After you build your castle, why isn't anyone there? Many, like De Niro in the movie, realize they never really knew their kids. Sounds like the song "Cats in the Cradle," doesn't it? After all their years of labor, they're left out in the cold --- alone, separated from their children with health issues that confine them to the prison of their home.

   What's it all about, Alfie? Is it just for the moment we live? Without God (without that spiritual dimension) life is indeed just for that moment. How sad.

   I know of an atheist who confided that she wished she had the faith that I have so life would be more meaningful. Strange but honest wish.

    The longest distance in the world? About 9 inches -- the distance between your heart and your brain.

Wisdom from Tom of Pasadena, CA

Fisherman Funeral
Contributed by Rick of Chino Hills, CA

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

One Liners
Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

I saw a magician drive down a street the other day. He then turned into a driveway.
How many people in South America does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian!
At what time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish.
What does Batman get in his drinks? Just ice (justice --- get it?).	What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? BiSon.
Two guys walked into a bar ... If they watched where they were going, they would not have walked into it in the first place!
Knock-knock. Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Knock-knock. Who's there? Oops, I did it again!
I tried to take a picture of the fog the other day... Mist!	What do you call a cow that does not give any milk? A milk dud.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it! (Ewww... gross!)	Why did the car go to jail? It was charged with batteries.
Where do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store.	How is imitation like a plateau? They are both the highest forms of FLATtery.
How does a train eat? It goes "chew, chew."	Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine...
What kind of bagel can fly? A "plain" bagel.
My sister once made a bet with me for a hundred dollars that I could not build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her when I drove pasta.
I would never gamble in Africa. There are too many cheetahs.

AND NOW THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ...

Videos of the week:

Napolean Dynamite Dance Scene
Contributed by Amy of Singapore

Some people say this is the 11th anniversary of the greatest dance scene in history. I don't know if I will go that far but it certainly brings back a lot of happy memories for me. If you are not familiar with the movie, it's about this social misFIT who's been practicing this dance number to FIT in.

Pickpocket King
Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

Bob Anon's Las Vegas performance. You'll laugh and you'll be amazed at how easy it is for him to steal your valuables.

Pickpocket King Meets Real Italian Pickpocketers
Contributed by Art of Pasadena, CA

Bob Anon, the Las Vegas, showman does a documentary of his adventure searching for the greatest pickpocket artist in Naples, the Pickpocket Capital of the world.

Child Predators: The Dangers of Social Media
Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

This is not a joke. Got teenagers? Think they're responsible? Trust them? Watch this real life drama of teens meeting strangers via their cell phones. When you realize there are 750,000 registered predators in the U.S., you wonder why there aren't more stories about sex trafficing, rapes and murders.

Fart Facts
Contributed by Art of Pasadena, CA

Peculiar website that shares supposed "facts" about this embarrassing but natural act of indiscretion ... or should that be indigestion?

Did you know that Ford Motor assembly line made one B-24 in about an hour? Was America ready for war? You betcha!

Lou Holtz Commencement Address
Contributed by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Holtz is a former NCAA football coach. This is an 18 minute video with a great message for the youth.

Bridge Over Troubled Water
Contributed by Santi of Mandaluyong, Philippines

The duo of Simon and Garfunkel have had an interesting relationship, which includes a bitter breakup. Garfunkel sings by himself but he is eventually joined on stage by Paul Simon. A truly magical moment in music history. Shall we say they crossed THAT bridge? TGIF people! Read MORE.