The Efficiency Expert

BATTLE WOUND

So I played my second game of basketball (after over a year of retirement) last night. There was an unusually high number of accidents --- one guy got whacked 3x and sprained both of his thumbs. 2 other guys crashed on the floor after stepping on someone else's foot. I felt sorry for them and was grateful that nothing ontoward happened to me ... or so I thought. When I got home I noticed a dark blue lump on my right eye.

Someone hit me and I didn't even notice it. By morning, it had spread around the bottom of my eye. Of all the times for a black eye to happen, it had to be when I was to be introduced to some very important people at 4:30 later that day. So I wondered what I was going to say. The hours passed and an hour before the meeting I decided to go to the local Red Cross and donate blood. Sure enough one of the nurses asked me about my eye and I told her about my basketball game. She was not impressed. She said "you need to build it up ... think of something ... people are expecting to hear a great story."

So I dreamed up some crazy story about fending off a gang of thieves or how my wife beat me up. That would be so funny. The meeting came. I waited for a reaction. Nothing. There were 2 big wigs of the Pasadena City College, a Director of the Small Business Dev. Center, the CFO of Mt. Sierra College, several Rotarian leaders --all of us gathered to brainstorm on how to create more jobs for the community. The discussion was very animated and it gave me hope that there were people like me who were out to make a difference. Sadly, throughout the conversation no one inquired about my mishap. What good is a black eye when no one asks you where you got it? Even worse, what good is a fabricated joke when no one is interested? I guess the joke was really on me. Well ... at least I got to share it with you. That makes me feel better. TGIF people!

"the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts."
--- James 3:5

Wisdom from Debbie of Moreno Valley, California

He concluded his lecture with a note of caution. He said,"I just want to warn you that you don't want to try these efficiency techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience, "it would appear that if they work in the factory, that would be helpful at home too."

The efficiency expert then said, “let me explain. I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years. She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets; often carrying a single item at a time. One day I happened to mention to her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once. It would be more efficient and save you time and steps?'"

"Did it save her time and steps?" the same person in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes it did," replied the expert.

"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast.

Now I do it every morning in seven."

We've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time we've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.

To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: only great minds can read the message below. This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.

Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can. (yeah, right ---Raoul)

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it.

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT ...

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Caleb Makes a Joke With Playdough
Contributed by Raoul

Caleb is 17 months old and he just made a joke. He noticed that people get "surprised" when he scooped and threw out a piece of his playdough. So he did it again. And again. And again. Meanwhile his older brother had just discovered rolly pollies and got startled when it jumped. Cute and funny kids! THIS IS BRAND NEW! Help me make this go viral.

Robin Williams as the U.S. Flag
Contributed by John of Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

"This is beyond great and brilliant - it also highlights what devastating loss it is to not just the USA, but the world, of this extraordinary and multi talented human being." --- John of Rancho Palos Verdes

Another side of Hong Kong
Contributed by Janette of Hong Kong

"Hong Kong, my home city, has always been regarded as a concrete jungle. However, the video which I want to share with you shows another side of Hong Kong which is totally breathtaking. Enjoy!" --- Janette of Hong Kong

The Story of the Star Spangled Banner
Contributed by Tom of Pasadenam CA

Here's a brief history lesson on how the US National anthem came to be. Francis Scott Key penned the song after the flag remained standing despite British bombardment. I never knew the full story until I watched this. I know this email goes all over the world but stories like this should inspire anyone regardless of nationality because it is the story of bravery and love of country.

Do Not Let Your Husband See This: A Nice Drive
Contributed by Charlie of New York

A toy for the big boy! I want one of these dube buggies! Hope my wife's reading this. Well at least next week we'll be visiting an old friend in Michigan and he's taking me out on his private plane. Can't wait!

Bill Cosby Talks About His Friend Ed
Contributed by Stephanie of Monrovia, CA

Cosby may be up in the years but he still "got it." He doesn't do stand up comedy anymore but "sit down" comedy --- you know, age and all ... very funny. He explains what friendship is about. Have a great weekend! Keep safe and keep your spirits up!