Theater Seats for a Senior

An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.

Immutable Laws

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Senior Dating

Denture Referral

A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning.

Senior Halloween

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you...

Contractor Goes to Hell

There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he unfortunately fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates, but St. Peter informed him of a mistake.

Naming Puns

When discussing the drink labeled Screwdriver I was informed there's also one called Pile Driver -- prune juice and vodka. WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES?

Answers by Failed Students

Unfaithful Wife

"A man goes to a shrink and says,"Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's Bar and picks up men."

Italian Altar Boy Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Dominic Savino?"
"Yes, Father, it is."

Fixin' to Jump in Texas

One day a gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in San Antonio. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump.

Pastor's Ass

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The Irish Nun

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

Yellow, Pink and Green

Mujibar was trying to get a job.
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar! You have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills."

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