Birthday Celebration

Denny’s has a slogan: “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”

Famous Composer Movie

Steven Spielberg contacted Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger and asked if they would appear in a huge film he was planning about famous composers.

Why God Made Moms

The following answers were given by second graders. Moms, this one's for you!

Wine Bottle

A businesswoman was driving home from a convention in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road."

Game Show Night

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to fool around?"

Children in Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge."

Apples

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly-missed boarding... all but one!

Incognito

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

Holy Golf

Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.

After Life

Martha and John were deeply into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.

Favorite Animal

Some people can't handle the truth.

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

Donation

Today I donated a watch, a phone and my wallet to a poor guy.

Gorilla Suit

There was an opening at the local zoo. Upon inquiry, he discovered the zoo had a very unusual position that they wanted to fill.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

A husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

Army of God

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

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