Vengeance

Noah Part 2

In the year 2017, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in America and said:

A Delicate Corporate Matter

All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one at a time until only Bob, the most junior member, was left sitting outside.

Get To Heaven

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven

Silence Your Phones

In our local church, before the 9:00 am mass, the moderator spoke through the microphone:

Sixty Going on Seventy

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are two HEARTS and a DIAMOND."

Changes in Life

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life..."

Birthday Celebration

Denny’s has a slogan: “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”

Famous Composer Movie

Steven Spielberg contacted Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger and asked if they would appear in a huge film he was planning about famous composers.

Why God Made Moms

The following answers were given by second graders. Moms, this one's for you!

Wine Bottle

A businesswoman was driving home from a convention in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road."

Game Show Night

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to fool around?"

Children in Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge."

Apples

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly-missed boarding... all but one!

Incognito

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

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