Jewish Collection

DATE NIGHT

I'm going to watch a play called Floyd Collins. Have you heard of this? Neither have I. But the play's just an excuse to take my lovely wife on a date. Last week was so deadline intensive it took me days to catch up with my regular routine. A date with the Missus is going to be such a reprieve. She really is my best friend. We've been together so long that we know what the other is thinking. "I was just about to say that" is an often used expression. It's not that we are the same. No way! She's more left-brained and I'm more right-brained. But I think we've learned to accept our differences better. They say that WOMEN expect to change their man after they get married while MEN expect their women never to change. Of course two unrealistic expectations only lead to a train wreck. We've survived many a train wreck. And I'm sure there will be more to come. But we married each other for better or worse. The hardest part was learning what that promise really meant. And neither of us can claim we did it without God's undeserved grace. Praise God for my wife. I am so blessed to be able to take this amazing woman on a date. And I don't even have to ask permission from her Mom.

If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.
--- 1 Corinthians 13:7

Wisdom from Tom of Pasadena, CA

The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!"

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? " The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears. " Doctor: "Don't answer!"

First Camp With Dad
Sent by Raffy of Southern California

The story is told about a father and son on their first camping trip together. The two could not sleep because of mosquitoes. The father said: “Don’t worry, I know how to handle this. Let’s put off the lights so they won’t see us.” Soon after, the fireflies started to appear in the dark, and the son said: “Dad, they’re back, with their flashlights on!”

Replacement
Sent by Raffy of Southern California

The story is told about a woman whose boyfriend whom she loved very much just died. Then her rich suitor of many years called her up and said: “Now that your boyfriend is dead, I would like to express my condolences and my intention to take his place.” The woman answered: “Thank you. I will now call the funeral home and tell them of your intention to take his place.”

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Smothers Bros. of the 60s --- Still Funny
Contributed Charlie of New York

These guys have aged well and they still have their sense of humor. Still clean. Still funny.

A Jewish Wedding in Italy
Contributed by Mike of New York

Now this is what you call an expensive Jewish wedding. I wonder who the parents are. They sure know how to send their kids off on their own. I guess Sunrise Sunset is no longer in fashion.

Golfboard
Contributed Charlie of New York

This would be a boring instruction video if not for the unique product. Of course the $4,000 price tag is quite prohibitive. But if you can afford to play golf, maybe this is priced just right. Get outta da way senior golfers! The young 'uns have a new playground!

Billy Joel and Jimmy Fallon Duet
Contributed by Charlie of New York

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, two singers sing tonight! Equipped with a recording app, the two celebrities doo-wap on live TV. You can see Billy eagerly trying to keep pace with the technology.

SInging Nun
Contributed by Charlie of New York

The nunnery will never be the same. This is some Sister Act. What happened to piety and humility? I betcha she won't be a nun for very long.

Amazing Basketball Court Transformation
Contributed by Charlie of New York

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the 1st to do this. I'm sure other NBA teams will follow. TGIF! Hard to believe we're a few days away from April.