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The Irish Nun
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 08/27/2017 - 11:59
August 25, 2017 Neighbor
Day
I wasn't really planning
to do anything special for the solar eclipse last Monday but somehow the
excitement of my friends in my breakfast meeting aroused my curiosity.
I went home and made my own eclipse shoe box. True, the pinhole image
was about the size of a matchstick head but the moon's shadow creeping
in was still visible. I went out at the peak of the eclipse and shared
my shoe box with my neighbors. One of them gave me an extra "solar
film" that his wife picked up in church.
There we were ---
neighbors huddled and staring up in the sky sharing anecdotes while Caleb,
a little boy with his protective sun glasses, was going around on his
tricycle oblivious to the rare galactic phenomenon we were celebrating.
We never got the full
impact here in California so it was sunny the whole time. However, I did
notice less heat intensity and the sun ray was a little less intense.
We took group pictures. It was an impromptu festive event.
Then I started texting
and emailing friends and got them excited. After all, a solar eclipse
across the whole continental USA --- that comes once in a lifetime ...
as if God put a yellow highlighter on his celestial map to bless this
nation.
One of my friends
said she was indoors the whole time and was sorry she missed the event.
I told her she didn't really miss anything (at least visually). Then it
"dawned" on me --- what she and many others missed wasn't just
a scientific rarity but a social opportunity. Rich, poor,
young, old --- everyone along the moon's path was blessed by God's gift.
Not only were strangers sharing an amazing experience but also sharing
their shoe box contraptions and their solar glasses, having great conversation,
learning from each other, etc. Years from now, people will remember the
eclipse as well as the fun they had with their neighbor.
Despite America's
cultural diversity, we are all mere specks of humanity living under the
magnificence of God's creation.
TGIF people!
Irish
Nuns Contributed by
Tom of Pasadena, CA
A car full of Irish
nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of
rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show
us yer noom-nuts, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother
Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them
your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculata
rolls down her window and shouts, "Buzz off, ya bloody little twunts, before I come
over der and rip yer Twazzocks off!"
Sister Mary Immaculata
then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently,
and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?" *
* In case you were
wondering, those are just made up words. You didn't really think I'd use
swear words, did ya? --- Raoul
How
Smart Are You? Contributed by
Tom of Pasadena, CA
There are only nine
questions.
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry
that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions
with straight answers.
Name the one sport
in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score
or the leader until the contest ends.
What famous North
American landmark is constantly moving backward?
Of all vegetables,
only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons.
All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only
two perennial vegetables?
What fruit has
its seeds on the outside?
In many liquor
stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle.
The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been
cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
Only three words
in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common
words. Name two of them.
There are 14 punctuation
marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
Name the only vegetable
or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in
any other form except fresh.
Name 6 or more
things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers To Quiz:
The one sport
in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score
or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
North American
landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim
is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions
of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
Only two vegetables
that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus
and rhubarb.
The fruit with
its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
How did the pear
get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The
bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired
in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing
season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
Three English words
beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
Fourteen punctuation
marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash,
hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark,
brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
The only vegetable
or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other
form but fresh: Lettuce.
Six or more things
you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals,
sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART:
Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering
to send this e-mail to at least one genius challenged person. Okay, my
job's done!
(I answered all correctly
except one --- Raoul)
TGIF Videos
In
Laws Sent by Lito of Anaheim, CA
Here's a rare
Muslim comedian. Have you ever wondered why they use the term "in-laws?"
Pretty insightful.
Comments
Anonymous
Tue, 09/05/2017 - 04:27
Permalink
Compliment
Love your illustrations!
Ed
Anonymous
Tue, 09/05/2017 - 04:30
Permalink
Compliment
Love your illustrations!
Ed