You Will Walk Today

Chicken Talk

   Today will be either the start of your best impossible dream or your worst nightmare. Today Donald Trump will assume the role of the most powerful man in the world. Trump promises a revitalized economy for the U.S. Eight years ago his predecessor promised he would unify the country yet today the country is divided like never before. I hope promises turn out better this time. Obama grew up poor but is a polished speaker. Trump grew up rich but uses "locker room" talk. The contrast of personalities is literally black and white. Some say "It's not a matter of who's right but who's on our side." Wait! Isn't that a problem?

    Truth and lies are intertwined in politics. When an acorn fell on Chicken Little's head, he concluded that the sky was falling. He spread a false rumor but his eloquence convinced his friends to follow him which led to their deaths in the fox's lair.

   Those silly political chickens surround us today. They speak with loud authoritative voices under the pretense that what they say is based on hard researched evidence. They elevate their social status by putting labels on their opponents and shame them into isolatation. It's a coercive bully tactic --- "you're either for me or against me and I know your email and Facebook account."

   When either side gets into hysterics, both sides lose. Only the objective Fox will be sane enough to take advantage of the situation.

   I suggest that as we continue to battle in this political arena that we listen more and talk less. There must be a common ground between 2 intelligent people. Otherwise, we will all wind up in the stomach of the Fox. TGIF people!

Wisdom from Don of Kelowna, B.C.Words of Wisdom

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, 1952

Thanks to this week's winners:
Tom of Pasadena, Don of Kelowna, Rodney of Manitboa, Charlie of New Jersey and Naomi of North Hollywood.


You can view this email and previous editions at TRAVELINGBOY.com/tgifjoke


If at first you don't succeed ...

failure may be your style.

If at first you don't succeed ...
destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed ...
keep flushing.


TGIF Quickie

Contributed by Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.


You Will Walk Today
Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration seminar. The Bishop came. He laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralyzed.

The Imam came. He laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today! “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”

I politely told him, “There’s really nothing wrong with me."

The Hindu sadhu came and said, "My daughter, you will walk on your legs today."

I said, "Babaji, there is nothing wrong with my legs."

The Buddhist Monk came. He held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”

Again, I had to tell him that there was nothing wrong with me.

After the seminar was over, I stepped outside and found that
my car had been stolen!

I believe in all religions now.


Speeding Senior
Contributed by Sang from Delaware

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him.

He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 170, ... suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense." So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before for why you were speeding. I'll let you go."

The man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back!!!!"

The cop left saying, "Have a good day, Sir."


Videos of the week:

Who Took the Cookie off the counter?
Contributor:
Charlie of New Jersey

WHo TOok the cookie? Dogs

A quick WHODUNIT mystery solved.

Flip, Flop and Fly
Contributor:
Tom of Pasadena, CA

Boogie Teenager Dance

Usually the female is featured, but here the young man steals the show – his legs are like liquid magic. And, bless her heart, she lets him shine. He's 17 and she's only 15. But together, they won the 2012 Junior Division National Carolina Shag Dancing Championships. They're dancing to Joe Turner's "Flip, Flop and Fly."

Animal Best Friends
Contributor:
Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

Animal Best Friends

To all you political warriors – why can't we be friends? Let these animals teach you a lesson.

Tournament of Roses Vounteers are "Happy"
Contributor:
Tom an ambassador of the Pasadena Tournament of Roses

Tournament of Roses

If you think a bunch of old foggies run the Pasadena TOurnament of Roses, you are definitely wrong.

TGIF people! Here's to a new era of Trump! We all need to pray!

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