Gems from Hollywood Squares

Caricature Months

   The BEAR months have started (SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovenBER and DecemBER) and it is the busiest quarter for my caricature stints. Starting this weekend at the "Our Lady of Guadalupe Church" in La Habra, I am booked solid. A tent will be prepared for me (now that's intimidating) as they expect throngs of people to line up. This should be easy, right? NO!! I have to confess that I am a tad bit nervous. They estimate 8,000 people will be at the fair. Last year I was there from 10 am to dusk. The only reason I stopped was because there was no more daylight and I have yet to learn to see in the dark.

   I'm concerned that it will get too bright and the reflecting light will blind me. My hands could cramp up and I lose control of my brush. I'm fearful that I may not capture their likeness.

   What I do is really entertainment. Even as I focus on a face, I can hear the comments, I can hear the laughter. I know if they are having a good time. It's an adrenalin booster for sure.

   Many have asked why I got into this business. Actually, this is NOT a business. I do this mostly for charity --- for non-profits. In fact, my favorite subjects are poor people who could not afford having a caricature done.

   If you've got a talent, I encourage you to share it. Magic happens when you do that. Sometimes I surprise myself. The reward isn't in the money, it's in the satisfaction that you touched somebody's soul and made them happy. Isn't that the best motivation ever? TGIF people!

Wisdom from Scott of Deerfield, New Hampshire

From Hollywood Squares
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

These great spontaneous answers from the Hollywood Squares game show.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: Only if you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No! Wait until morning!

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet!

Videos of the week:

Shake your Booty Puppy
Contributor: Rillea of Newport Beach, CA

Nothing need to be said about this video. It will just bring a smile. Trust me.

Shimon Peres: Retired
Contributor: Norm the Arcadia Accountant

This week we say goodbye to a respected statesman. What I didn't know was that he had a great sense of humor. Despite the stress of having to make decisions that had worldwide implications, he still had time for fun. Regardless of where you stand in his politics, he lived what he believed. Admirable!

When Your Doorbell Rings
Contributor: Scott of Deerfield, New Hampshire
WARNING: Some strong language

From "Happy to See you!" to "Don't tell them I'm home." Funny standup comparison comedy.

Supersonic Plane: London to New York in 11 Min.
Contributor: Scott of Deerfield, New Hampshire

This is incredible sci-Fi stuff.

Compassion for a Dog
Contributor: Art of Sierra Madre, CA

The first part of the video is hard to look. You can almost feel the pain this dog is going through. It's even hard to watch the man pick the dog up because you fear for contamination. But stick with the video and you will see what compassion can do.

The Dumbing Down of America
Contributor: Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Leave it to the politicians and heads of the education system to come up with novel ideas that really don't work. A failed experiment as the expense of our young students. Sad.

George Carlin's Strange America
Contributor: Norm the Arcadia Accountant

Common sense is not an American trait anymore ... come to think of it, it's been a long time since American legislation had common sense. Oh well ... the sun will come up tomorrow ... it better! TGIF people!