Political Tutorial

Two Ring Circus

The political circus has come to town. In one ring, you have a man who can't shut his mouth from sharing his true feelings and on the other ring you have a woman who can't stop lying about her past. On week 1, the newscasters were laughing at the Republicans because they were so divided. On week 2 they're in disbelief because the Democrats are even more divided. Week 1: the Republicans say the world is a mess. Week 2: the democrats say the world is wonderful. How do I sum up these events? A Haiku would be too short so I came up with this feeble attempt at poetry:

She's a liar! He's a liar!
Hillary's pantsuit's on fire!
Don't believe them ... believe me!
Donald's tactics are beneath me!

He ain't fit! Her thinking's bent!
So which one should be President?
He's a racist! She's a socialist!
Oh my God! Can you believe this?!

Is this the world's super power?
Looks more like Happy Hour!
A bottle of booze to deaden the nerve!
Watch out! We'll get what we deserve!

Former friend. Former enemy.
I'll say anything just vote for me!
She'll preserve the status quo.
He'll create a new tomorrow!

Remember my accomplishments,
But forget my incompetence!
Need my help? Just give me a call!
Ask too much and I'll build a wall!

She grew up poor! He grew up rich!
I'm one of you, not like that son of a **!
Where was she in Benghazi?
Where was he in Trump University?

He bankrupt huge casinos.
Who she emailed? No one knows!
No more for me to say,
Except Thank God It's Friday!

Wisdom from Heather of Whittier, CA
Words of Wisdom

Loose lips sink ships.
--- Anonymous

Thanks to this week's winners:
Don of Kelowna; Tom of Pasadena; Heather of Whittier; and Charlie of New Jersey.

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Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.
--- Romans 13:1

Political Tutorial
Contributed by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

If you think America's 2016 Election is so scary, crazy and funny, you're not alone. Here's a collection of political quotations that are sadly true.

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author unknown~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson~

Videos of the week:

Hysterically Historic
Tom of Pasadena, CA

Hysterically Historic

Here's Johnny Carson doing his Ronald Reagan impression.

Mozart Group
Heather of Whittier, CA

Mozart Group

After I watched these musicians' comedic routine, I wanted to listen to classical music.

Funeral for a Car
Charlie of New Jersey

Crushing Car

WARNING: If you are a car lover don't watch this. It's like watching a cremation --- This splendid piece of machinery is crushed and probably recycled into new products. If this car were in a 3rd World country, it wouldn't be put to death like this.

Sign Language Village
Charlie of New Jersey

Sign Language Village

The sister of a deaf man secretly taught others to speak in sign language. Her brother was surprised that everyone could speak to him. This brought tears to my eyes.
CLICK HERE for the full story.
TGIF people! Let's pray for this election.

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