Missing

MOM DAY

When I was in Grade School we practiced a song for Mother's Day. I still remember the words and the melody. I believe it was composed by our Music Teacher because I never heard it anywhere else.

Mother dear, I love you and you love me too. You're the dearest playmate that I ever knew. Though I'm not very big. I'm big enough to know. That I am very happy because you love me so.

Simple, huh? It was so short that we had to sing it in a loop ad nauseum. I think we were even forced to buy flowers out of our allowance money. It was all school-contrived but I think our Moms liked it.

A few days ago I saw my daughter carrying her son who was hugging her like he "owned" her. We all "own" our mothers at that age. I'm fortunate that my Mom made me feel special even though my other siblings also "owned" her. It's an amazing ability to convey that feeling of belonging evenly among several children. My Mom was my nurse, my moral adviser, my defender, my confidante, my cook, my walking dictionary, my art and movie critic, my supplier for clothes, gifts, and treats. She wove fascinating fairy tales from the books of the Brothers Grimm and Aesop's fables. She opened my mind to the world of ideas.

Yes, God blessed me with a good one. I'm sure He gave you one too. Be sure to thank her this weekend --- I just did with this short intro. Love you Mom! Thanks for being the best Mom in the world!

"How much better to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver." --- Psalm 16:16

Wisdom from Don of Kelowna, B.C.
Words of Wisdom

War does not determine who
is right ---
only who is left.

Thanks to this week's winners:
Tom of Pasadena, Don of Kelowna, Joji of Antipolo, Mike and Charlie of New York, Sam of Arcadia, Naomi of N Hollywood and Rodney of Manitoba.

You can view this email
and send me
feedback online at
TRAVELINGBOY.com/tgifjoke
Missing
Contributed by Joji of Antipolo, Philippines

A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?
Husband : Not slim ... can be healthy.

Inspector : Color of eyes?
Husband : Never noticed.
Inspector : Color of hair?
Husband : Changes according to the season.
Inspector : What was she wearing?
Husband : Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector : Was she driving?
Husband : Yes!
Inspector : Tell me the number, make & color of the car.
Husband : Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode with full LED headlights, using light emitting diodes for all light functions. Also has a very thin scratch on the front left door ...

And then the husband started crying.

Inspector : Don't worry sir ... we will find your car.


Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

The Third Golf Swing
Contributed by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

The Third Golf Swing

Watch this guy's third swing! Always practice safety when taking chip shots on the golf course. The third chip shot is a doozie!

TnT Airlines
Contributed by Sam of Arcadia, CA

TNT Airlines

Funny clip about what TnT Airlines offers its passengers. Professionally done.

Stairway to Heaven by Heart
Contributed by Charlie of New York

Stairway to Heaven

Many have attempted to "mimic" this Led Zeppelin classic but they usually fall short because they fail to inject their own style. Heart, this band from the 80's, deviated from the original just enough to get the essence of what makes it such a great piece and added a few innovations which I really liked. The members of Led Zep got emotional. Enjoy.

6 Year Old Yoyo Master
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

6 year old yoyo master

How do you train someone to do this? This kid whips his yoyo and does so many movements I'm surprised the toy kept on spinning.

Rabbis Sings Hotel California
Contributed by Mike of New York

Hotel California Rabbi Here's another modern rendition of a Rock classic. But more than music abilities, what stands out is their Jewish attire. I believe they are priests. I'm so ignorant about their culture I was under the impression that this would be blasphemous. Apparently, I am mistaken.

Italian Grocery Store Flash Mob
Contributed by Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Italian Grocery Flash Mob

I was hoping there would be more "Chick-friendly" videos this week but I didn't get much. Here's one I think that would fit the Mom day celebration.

Exciting and Incredible Cinematography
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Incredible Photography

I might have shared a similar video but I still enjoyed watching this. It's a piece of artwork in motion.

Survived by the Wife
Contributed by Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

Surviving the husband

This is a clean video. The quality isn't that great but it's still very funny.

I hope you "survive!" Mother's Day!

Comments

I'm laughing at you, but in a 'you're so cute' way. Those two guys playing Hotel California are Orthodox and wouldn't stand out in either Israel, New York or parts of the west side of LA - haha. There is a long tradition of music in the Jewish religion and culture. In fact the Cantor leads the congregation in prayer much of which is sung (nice huh). It was the hubby's birthday yesterday and a friend sent him this video, which is a parody of the Talk Dirty to Me popular rap that utilizes a melody from and sections of Klezmer music which comes from the Jewish Yiddish community that has a rich history of performance art.
http://jewbellish.com/talk-yiddish-to-me-nisht-dirty-parody/

As for your Mum's Day flash mob video please tell me that you didn't pick it because it's in a grocery store!!! Here's an alternate - sorry it's late.

http://youtu.be/oVVU2KUAvIw

And here's another that cracked me up this week!
http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/05/15/Labor-pain-simulator-helps-two-men-ex...

Have a wonderful Mother's Day Raoul.

--- Jody of Silver Spring, CA

Thanks mucho Jody for the explanation. I’m still not sure what the Orthodox Jews are. I think they’re the ones who wear those black coats and big hats, right? Methinks I need to read up on them. I don’t blame you for laughing at my ignorance. I don’t mind. I would too if I were in your place.

And thanks for the other videos. Fascinating! Winners!
--- Raoul

It pleases this shiksa (white non-Jewish girl) to no end to help - but I am no authority in any way. Jews practice their religion in three variations, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform. Judaism is matrilineal - you are not a 'real Jew' if your mother isn't Jewish something my husband son of Jewish man and Catholic woman has been told often by Jews. There is a deep tradition of scholarship in Judaism as well as a tradition of debating what the scriptures mean - especially as there is a written bible (the Torah the one God gave to Moses) and an oral tradition (the Talmud),

Orthodox is fundamentalism essentially, practitioners keep Kosher (no mixing of meat and dairy foods and no pork ever - keeping a kosher kitchen means you have two sets of everything including appliances), men wear a yarmulke all the time - women wear wigs when out in public (keeping your head covered reminds you that G-d is above you and Jews NEVER write God always G-d), there are other strict clothing requirements for both sexes, they strictly observe the Sabbath (Saturday for them) no driving or dealing with any modern conveniences like the phone or flipping electric switches, the genders are kept separate for worship (the most strict temples will hang a cloth barrier between the two), men should not touch ever any woman they are not related to (she could be having her period and is therefore 'unclean'), women cannot hold any position of religious authority but the responsibility of passing along and maintaining rules and traditions are a woman's domain. Jews who start off as Conservative or Reform and become Orthodox are called 'from Jews'. Oh and like Catholics the goal is to have as many children as possible. I personally find it funny that in regard to gender issues there's not much difference between Orthodox Jews and Muslims.

Conservative is a lot like Orthodox but there isn't as much gender separation (may be no barrier between the sexes in temple) or adherence to the clothing issues. Some Conservative women wear wigs some don't they would dress modestly generally which means no showing of the knees. Most men would wear a yarmulke but not the same clothing requirements as with Orthodox. They do keep kosher. They might get around the Sabbath modern amenities prohibition by leaving things on before the start of the Sabbath or having things on timers so they don't have to physically flip the switch.

Reform Jews might keep kosher with eating (no mixing of dairy and meat on one plate) but not keep a kosher kitchen, they might eat pork. The gender issues aren't as big either - no separating the sexes for worship and women can be Rabbis. They don't follow clothing restrictions. Reform Jews believe that Jewish laws and traditions need to adapt to the modern world - they would flip a switch or use the phone on a Saturday.

--- Jody

Wow! That’s a mouthful. I didn’t know it was so complicated. I shouldn’t be surprised because within the Christian circles there are several deviations as well.

I’ve heard tid bits of the kosher laws and attires but I lumped them all under one category. There is another group of Jews you failed to mention --- the Messianic Jews --- Jews who have recognized Jesus as the Messiah. Am I right? Or are they not even classified as Jews anymore?

--- Raoul

I believe that every religion has a variety of interpretations so you're right not really a surprise. For example - http://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news/665/1500-Year-Old-Bible-Found-In-Turk...

I feel silly asking but you do know that your Old Testament is The Torah right? And what I mentioned about kosher laws was just a tiny bit.

The Messianic Jews might consider themselves Jews but I highly doubt that any of the branches I mentioned before would consider them such, particularly the Orthodox. Would you consider a Gnostic a true Christian? I think it's similar. http://www.jewfaq.org/mashiach.htm

I don't mind your posting my comments, you might want to caveat that it's all coming from a non-Jew who has learned all that from family by marriage and friends. Some of your Jewish readers might read it and say 'That shiksa's got some chutzpa!' http://youtu.be/rcbQXfgKvTg

If you would like a really good explanation from a practicing Jew I know a couple of people who would probably be willing to provide such. And much of what I told you before applies mostly to North American and UK Jews. There are Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews as well - check that jewfaq site.

From my observations Jewishness is both a religious and cultural state. It has a very long and rich history with lots of laughter and music as is so often the case with oppressed peoples.

More good stuff. Thanks.
Interesting what you pick up from your husband. I’m glad they accepted you despite your being a Gentile.

My son actually joined a Jewish Frat in college. He didn’t last the semester. Not because of the religious practices but because of the silly “hazing” rituals typical of frats. He outgrew them very easily.

--- Raoul

You're welcome. I actually learned most of what I shared with you from women friends who are Jewish - remember that whole matrilineal thing. My husband always jokes that I know more about Judaism than he does. He himself is an atheist, his father was Jewish his mother who will turn 90 next week (!) is Catholic so I doubt they cared what religion their daughter-in-law is. What's amazing is that neither of their families cared.

You must have done a good job with your son that he saw through the frat stuff so quickly. And I didn't know there was such a thing as a Jewish Frat.

Have a great weekend Raoul.

--- Jody

Thank you my son,

for this mother's day tribute. You understood me so well and even seeing the juggling act I have to do with 7 kids, one after another.... and yet we truly belonged to each other. Thank you.
You have always been special, not only to me, but to everyone. I still remember when you wanted so much this Pinocchio comic book, and my house allowance could not afford it. But I had not the heart to refuse you. Somehow I managed to buy it, with an admonition that you take good care of it. ... And years later, you still had that comic book because you knew it meant something to me, to give it to you. How you truly understood and loved your mother. I miss you.

Love ya,

--- Mommy

Great reflections on all our Moms, Special people for sure!

--- Tom of Pasadena

Wonderful and fitting tribute for our mother, Raoul!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom -- and to all the other moms in the family! Hope you all get to enjoy your kids on this special day (kids are taking me to our favorite Italian place on Old Town Pasadena)!

Much, much love,

Sister number 4

Hi Bro,

What a wonderful tribute to your Mom and all the wonderful moms out there. You are correct, you have a good one.

Thanks for the TGIF! I loved the joke "Missing"!

Take care,

--- Rick of Chino Hills, CA

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