Confessing Priests

Shopping Lessons from the Lion and the Lamb

    Salespeople are a different breed. They're carnivores! This Christmas season I've been especially observant of them. It's like watching a hunt in the African jungle. On one side is the evil Lion waiting for its prey. On the other side is the gullible lamb with dangling credit card in hand. The minute the victim steps within range, the highly trained hunter leaps into view. Even before he utters "Hello! Can I help you?", with his smooth velvety voice, the tempter has already sized up its victim by age, by choice of clothing, by the wobbly walk and of course by gender. The villain already knows how many minutes of lies it will take and the best script to deploy to the unsuspecting fool.

    His first task is to become likeable. Usually, if it's a goat (a guy victim) the lion knows he can talk about the quality and specifications of the product then top it off with guarantees and warranties. In between he can talk about sports or politics. It is important to be on the same side. He needs to be his buddy.

    If it's a defenseless little lamb, he'll talk about the beautiful matching color, the latest and most expensive model ... in short, to be the envy of all her girlfriends.

   But if there are 2 independent minded individuals the game changes. Suddenly there is hope for escape. Like the coward that he really is, the Lion will sniff for the weaker of the two and hopefully it is also the decision maker. Forget the difficult spouse and focus on the happy one. A tell tale sign that the lion is desperate is when it tells a tearjerk yarn about its pitiful aging parent or how tough life is being a single Dad. You'll be surprised at how many women buy junk because they pity the Lion more than they love their old goat husbands. This is gospel truth I'm sharing with you.

   So the next time you go "window shopping" be prepared! You better watch out! You darn better not cry! And I'm telling you why --- the Lion knows! The Lion kills! The Lion will devour your bloody credit card!

    TGIF people! Good luck out there in the shopping jungle! Mwah Ha Ha Ha!

Wisdom from Tom of Pasadena, CA

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”
--- Albert Einstein

TGIF Quickie
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Confessing Priests
Contributed by Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

It is the Christmas season and to celebrate the ocassion, Father Bob, Father Francis and Father Pedro join a spiritual retreat. They have such a deep soul searching experience that on the last day, they find themselves in the after glow lying on top of a hill and staring at the stars above.

Father Bob: What an exhilarating weekend! My bothers, I feel so in tune with God that I just want to cleanse myself of all my earthly vices. If you are open to it, do you mind if we confess each other's sins?

Father Francis: That's a wonderfulidea!

Father Pedro: No! Not really! I don't think ...

Father Francis: My brother, no need to be so shy! We are all fallen creatures. Confession is such a liberating experience!

Father Pedro: I don't know ... I just don't ...

Father Bob: Dear brother, it's okay! You're among friends! In fact, since I brought the subject up, I will volunteer to be the first to confess.

My brothers, I have sinned! I confess that I enjoy the taste of wine in my lips! Tears start to flow down his cheeks. Everytime I prepare for communion, I ask the altar boy to always add an extra glass in the chalice! I am so ashamed! Father Bob sobs uncontrollably.

Father Francis: My brothers, I too have sinned! My vice is money! Late at night I visit the collection box in my church and play with the coins and the bills with my hands. Oh, how I love the sound of the coins and the smell of the wads of money!

And the women!!! How I love to hear their confessions and then my imagination takes over me!! I'm such a sinner!!! He too cries like a baby.

The two teary eyed priests stare at the third priest waiting for his confession. After an eternity, their quiet friend speaks up.

Father Pedro: Oh, alright! I told you I didn't think this was a good idea!
I too have a terrible vice. I love to gossip! ... and boy, I can't wait to get outta here!

Award Winning Photograph
Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

Here's an amazing ‘award-winning’ photograph of the recent flood waters rising in Ireland which captures the horror and suffering there. CLICK HERE.

Videos of the week:

Star Wars Music from the Floppotron
Contributor: Wally of Moreno Valley, CA

Star Wars Fans, you're gonna love this. This is way cool. Oh the things you do when you've got time in your hands.

Straight No Chaser Christmas Medley
Contributor: Jun of Quezon City, Philippines & Charlie of New Jersey

Acapella of the 12th Days and more. Very original. Very entertaining, A lot of fun. Here's a later, Broadway version sent by Charlie. CLICK HERE

Unusual Dentist
Contributor: Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Who would have thunk that dentists would do housecalls like this?

Unusual Treatment for Parkinsons
Contributor: Charlie of New Jersey

If you know anyone suffering from Parkinson's Disease, let them view this clip. The product may not be available in the market yet but the principle of the cure is there. This got me tearly eyed.

USAF Holiday Flash Mob
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA

Get into the holiday spirit with this flash mob.

2 Legged Robot from Boston
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA

The robot may look a bit clunky but it's a marvelous piece of machinery. The engineers have come a long way. I'd like one of these for Christmas.

Politically Correct Santa Complaint
Contributor: Don of Kelowna, B.C.

This is a different kind of comedy: a bit political, a bit condescending and a bit deadpan. Watch at your own risk.

IRS Scammer Meltdown
Contributor: Mike of New York

I had so much on my mind, I got scammed this morning. I got a text to call my bank. Without thinking I started giving away my card number and password. I realized what I did but just to make sure, I still made adjustments in my bank. This is why I chose this very long video. You might want to jump ahead to the juicy parts. This guy wastes so much of the scammer's time the crook loses control at the end. Someone should make a law and hunt these guys down.

Poignant Story of a Lyft-Driver
Contributor: Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

This is a great ad for LYFT. It shows how it can change your life. This reminds me of a very close senior friend of mine who does Uber. She told me similar stories about her passengers. TGIF and Merry Christmas people!