Redneck Vacation


Are you one of the millions in America who is traveling this Memorial Day Weekend? My kids are off to different directions away from the city. My wife and I are staying put. I glanced at my calendar and the weekend is dismally empty. In my busyness I forgot to plan anything. I feel like there's this big party somewhere and I was not invited.

When I was in college I decided to throw myself a big Saturday birthday party and invited people left and right. Unbeknownst to me, my closest friends had planned a surprise party the Friday prior. They did a good job because I was totally surprised. However, amidst the celebration I realized that I had invited "other people" whom my friends didn't know. It was uncomfortable but I requested them to come back the next night because "other people" were sure to come and I couldn't entertain them by myself. Saturday night was a disaster. We were staring at each other. Anything worth discussing had already transpired the previous night. In terms of food, we were eating Friday's leftovers. To make things worse, none of the "other people" even came. Although, it was anti-climactic, I realized I was staring at genuine friends. Through thick and thin, I knew I could count on them. To this day I consider that bunch one of my closest friends ever. I'm excited for an upcoming reunion with them in Michigan this August. I am truly blessed.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. Remember the forgotten souls like me (whom you didn't invite!) but most importantly, remember the heroes who gave their all so we can enjoy weekends such as this.

"All the believers were of one heart and mind, and no one felt that what he owned was his own; everyone was sharing." --- Acts 4:32

Wisdom from Don of Kelowna, B.C.
Words of Wisdom

Nothing can deceive unless it bears a plausible resemblance to reality.
--- C.S. Lewis

Thanks to this week's winners:
Tom and Tom L. of Pasadena, Don of Kelowna, Mike and Charlie of New York, Debbie of Moreno Valley, Naomi of N Hollywood and Peter Paul of S. Pasadena.

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Redneck Vacation
Contributed by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob says, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Two years ago you said go to the Bahamas and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

"I'm taking Earlene with me."

A TGIF Memorial Day Special
Sometimes, it's not really just luck
Contributed by Mike of New York

What a terrific - true war story!!!

This story is confirmed in Elmer Bendiner's book, The Fall of Fortresses.

Elmer Bendiner was a navigator in a B-17 during WW II. He tells this story of a World War II bombing run over Kassel, Germany, and the unexpected result of a direct hit on their gas tanks. "Our B-17, the Tondelayo, was barraged by flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. That was not unusual, but on this particular occasion our gas tanks were hit. Later, as I reflected on the miracle of a 20 millimeter shell piercing the fuel tank without touching off an explosion, our pilot, Bohn Fawkes, told me it was not quite that simple."

On the morning following the raid, Bohn had gone down to ask our crew chief for that shell as a souvenir of unbelievable luck. The crew chief told Bohn that not just one shell but 11 had been found in the gas tanks. 11 unexploded shells where only one was sufficient to blast us out of the sky. It was as if the sea had been parted for us. A near-miracle, I thought.

Even after 35 years, so awesome an event leaves me shaken, especially after I heard the rest of the story from Bohn.

He was told that the shells had been sent to the armorers to be defused. The armorers told him that Intelligence had picked them up. They could not say why at the time, but Bohn eventually sought out the answer. Apparently when the armorers opened each of those shells, they found no explosive charge. They were as clean as a whistle and just as harmless.


Empty? Not all of them! One contained a carefully rolled piece of paper. On it was a scrawl in Czech. The Intelligence people scoured our base for a man who could read Czech. Eventually they found one to decipher the note. It set us marveling. Translated, the note read: "This is all we can do for you now"

Apparently, the people who made the bombs did not share the ideologies of the Nazi. Praise God!

Verified by Truth or Fiction

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Substitute Teacher
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena. CA
WARNING: Contains fowl language. Not fit for sensitive ears.

SUbstitute Teacher

Sorry, I just had to include this. True, the language may be offensive but this video got me in stitches.

You might want to share these videos as you gather around the campfire this weekend.

New Coke Bottle Opener
Contributed by Peter Paul of S. Pasadena, CA

New Coke Bottle Opener

Coke's Ad Men certainly know how to create a viral sensation. This is brand new. They created a bottle that needs another Coke bottle to open it. Creative in many levels.

Creative Space Saving Furnitures
Contributed by Charlie of New York

Creative funrniture

I wish I had known about this before we bought our furniture. I wonder how much they cost.

World War Unfolds in 3 Minutes
Contributed by Tom L. of Pasadena, CA

Bach Library

Interesting video that shows how world events led to World War I.

Here's a similar video that shows how close World War II brought us to becoming a Nazi world. CLICK HERE

Pie-Scraper Burger
Contributed by Charlie of New York

Pie Scraper Burger

Not exactly something I would recommend for your Memorial Weekend barbecue. The calories alone will kill ya! But it made the news! In my younger years this would have looked a lot more inviting.

Copycat Walrus
Contributed by Naomi of North Hollywood

Walrus copycat Another video that shows how intelligent our animal friends are. Ever realize how "enlightened" our society is getting about these creatures because of videos like this? I'm beginning to think everything in "Ripley's Believe it Or Not" were true.

British Humor
Contributed by Debbie of Moreno Valley, CA
WARNING: Contains crude subject matter. Not fit for sensitive viewers.

BBC humor

Leave it to the Britts! This is a video that has been in my collection for a while. I figured that since it's a long weekend, you might have time to watch this.

Panhandler Party
Contributed by Mike of New York

Pan Handler Party

I might have shared this before but I think this deserves another look. You don't need to be a New Yorker to appreciate this.

Jonathan Winters' Stick
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Jonathan Winters Stick

Before there was Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, there was Jonathan Winters. Mr. Winters made the strangest sounds and the weirdest facial expressions. Here he comes up with different uses of a piece of stick.
Enjoy your Memorial Day! A salute to all the heroes! TGIF!


Thanks Raoul,
Mike Antonovich (Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors) throws a big party at the Arcadia Park for Veterans or anyone wanting to attend with parachute jumpers, flyovers- and the greatest display of military equipment including tanks and tracked vehicles complete with armament provided by the museum in El Monte. The new Grand Marshall of the the Rose Parade is the topic of a book called "Unbroken" and it is a fascinating read from beginning to end. I read it in 2 days as it is hard to put it down once you start it. He is 97 and sharp as a tack.

Pasadena is a great place to be on the holidays as the traffic is less and the bustle quieter. The presentation starts at 11 AM This Saturday.

--- Tom of Pasadena

Someone brought this to my attention. He said the word "Redneck" draws some very insulting connotations ... especially to white skinned people. I have to be honest. I never knew it was such a bad word. I apologize if this title hurt you in any way. I will refrain from using it in the future. Can someone give me a good substitute word(s) for this that is less offensive?

--- Raoul

Hi Bro!
I laughed so hard at the "substitute teacher". Thank you for that!
Have a good rest of the holiday weekend.
Take care,

-- Rick of Chino Valley, CA

Ha ha…I just read this TGIF article and laughed out loud (LOL) literally because I just invited you through email to our BBQ Party in June. I promise that I invited you first BEFORE I read your article (ask my husband). It’s also funny that you mentioned your birthday because I just told you to greet my son on his birthday today. God has a great sense of humor!

--- Pia of La Crescenta, CA

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