Airhead Detectives


   Can you do me a huge favor? Can you pray for my Mom? I received word as I was preparing this email that she is going to undergo an appendectomy and she's scared. She's always been uneasy about going to the hospital. Most of us do but more so for her. And now, at her frail age, she has to go through this one. What's God trying to tell her?

   She is a firm believer in prayer so to know that there are so many of you praying for her would bring her much comfort.

   Sorry if this message isn't what you expected. I was actually going to write about something else but knowing that she's so far away I feel helpless to come to her side and only prayer is what I can offer her ... and with your help she will have many more.

    By the time you read this (hopefully) the operation would have been successful. Please pray for the healing process to be swift. Let this experience bring her closer to God's love.

    Lord please take care of my Mom. Keep her safe. Be with the doctors. Give her strengthj and courage. Amen.

   Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Wisdom from Naomi of N Hollywood
Words of Wisdom

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

Thanks to this week's winners:
Tom and Art of Pasadena; Charlie of New Jersey; Don of Kelowna; Mike of New York; Rodney of Manitoba; Naomi of North Hollywood.

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Airhead Detectives
Sent in by Tom of Pasadena, CA

A policeman was interrogating 3 airheads who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first airhead a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first airhead answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his PROFILE!"

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second airhead and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second airhead giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third airhead and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds "... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The airhead looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm ... the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it ... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the airhead replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!


Those of us old enough to remember when the phone was wired to the wall, usually in the kitchen, can relate to this story. It's a bit long but I hope you like it.

Information Please
Sent in
by Tom of Pasadena, CA

When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box.. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.

"Information, please," I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.


"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience..

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math.

She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, "Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

"Information," said in the now familiar voice.

"How do I spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much.

"Information Please" belonged in that old talking machine back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.


I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do," she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle.

A different voice answered, "Information."

I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend,"
I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," She said. "Sally had been working part time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."

Before I could hang up, she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others. Life is short. Life is a journey. Whose life have you touched today?

I'll be doing caricatures next Saturday, March 19

For those in the Los Angeles area, I will be doing caricatures at the 37th Anniversary of Primarily Hair from noon to 2pm. I'm especially excited because I'm going to try to do a face in 2 minutes. Yup! 120 seconds! I'm not sure how well I'll do but that's the goal. Some will be bringing pictures of their pets from what I hear. This will prove to be very interesting.

Primarily Hair
820 E. Whittier Blvd.
La Habra, CA 90631

Videos of the week:

Dog vs. Stairs
Mike of New York

Dog vs. Stairs

Awww! Those cute little doggies! Did you ever think about how incongruous stairs are to a dog? Just watch!

Dad Realizes a Truth After Watching Daughter
Charlie of New Jersey

Dad observes daughter

Men, you should watch this. Is this you?

What the Internet Looked Like in 1995
Art of Pasadena, CA

Internet in 1995

Hard to imagine the speed of technology. Our lives are dominated by the internet but just over 10 years ago this is how it looked like.

Money Under the Car
Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Creativity in the airport

Leave it to the Brits! No words needed here.
" Laughter is like a windshield wiper,it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going."

TGIF People!

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