Clever Words

Heavenly Concert

   There's a concert at my place tonight. Actually, it's really a party but the guests who are coming are professional operatic singers.

   During my college days I was part of a choral group called the UPCC. Yeah, I sang operatic style. Hard to believe, huh? I was more a puttering toot compared to the trumpets of everyone else. Well, tonight the loudest of the trumpets will be there. Several of them will have perfect pitch. Legend has it that the frustrated perfectionists in the group would shame and call out members who were off-key. Such was the high end caliber of this elite group of singers. Some of these friends have performed in front of dignitaries across the globe. Most of them "grew up" to more "ordinary" professions --- only to burst out in song during social gatherings. It's a beautiful sight to watch the surprise in people's eyes when my friends release their gifts (more like super powers) to the unsuspecting crowd.

   I wish YOU could come. I wish we could share this experience. Maybe this is what heaven is like --- where we share each other's life and there are no more time constraints. Heaven --- so much to look forward to. But for now it's just Friday ... thank God for Fridays.

Wisdom from Rodeny of Manitoba, B.C.

Clever Word Usage
An Oldie but Goldie sent in by Tom of Pasadena, CA

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before

Practice safe eating – always use condiments

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired

What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes

She was engaged to a boy with a wooden leg but broke it of

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under

Every calendar's days are numbered

A lot of money is tainted – Taint yours and taint mine

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

He had a photographic memory that was never developed

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Emergency Number
Sent in by Mike of New York

Advice for all new Muslim Jihadi immigrants :
If you are trapped in a burning house or have been seriously injured and are bleeding to death, the new emergency number is:-

08463871208666581209387153761008665131245408547352706745869912332416
57490768554109283657389999566322084638712086665812093871537610086651
31245408547352706745869912332416574907685541092836573899995663223899
99566322084638712086665812093871537610086651312454085473527067458699
12332416574907685541092836573899995663224735270674586991233241657490
76855410928365738999956632238999956630846387120866658120938715376100
86651312454085473527067458699123324165749076855410928365738999956632
20846387120866658120938715376100866513124540854735270674586991233241
65749076855410928365738999956632238999956632208463871208666581209387
15376100866513124540854735270674586991233241657490768554109283657389
99956632247352706745869912332416574907685541092836573899995663223899
99566308463871208666581209387153761008665131245408547352706745869912
33241657490768554109283657389999566322084638712086665812093871537610
08665131245408547352706745869912332416574907685541092836573899995663
22389999566322084638712086665812093871537610086651312454085473527067
45869912332416574907685541092836573899995663224735270674586991233241
65749076855410928365738999956632238999956630846387120866658120938715
37610086651312454085473527067458699123324165749076855410928365738999
95663220846387120866658120938715376100866513124540854735270674586991
23324165749076855410928365738999956632238999956632208463871208666581

Your call is important to us ... Thank You For Your Patience.

Videos of the week:

Biker Insists 10 Year Old Girl Sit on His Bike
Contributor: Don of Kelowna, B.C.

I didn't expect the ending.

Teenage Boy Dances with Older Woman
Contributor: Charles of New Jersey

This young kid asks this older woman for a dance. You can see it in her face that she's amazed at this young lad's expertise. Don't you wish you could dance like that when you were his age?

Tap Dancing with Gregory Hines
Contributor: Norm the Arcadia Accountant

From Latin dance, we move now to American Tap Dance. Gregory Hines makes this loook so effortless.

Light Saber Wedding Dance
Contributor: Norm the Arcadia Accountant

OK, if you're planning to get married, you need to think of something better than this. TGIF!