pets

Mother Superior

The 98 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

You Will Walk Today

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration seminar. The Bishop came. He laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

Potato Story

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Senior Texting

Texting for the over 40's and 50's. The kids have all their SMC codes like WTF, LOL and PMSL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature:

Women's Seminar

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American lady. Although his English wasn't perfect they got along very well.

Gems from Hollywood Squares

These great spontaneous answers from the Hollywood Squares game show.
Q. Do female frogs croak?

Man Goes to a French Restaurant

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?”

I Am Fine

A farmer named Heather had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Heather.

Forgetful

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Airhead Detectives

A policeman was interrogating 3 airheads who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first airhead a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

Golf Death

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

Pig Story

A farmer had 5 female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.

Computer Dependency

Here is the proof that we have become too dependent on our computers:
Question: Are you Male or Female?

Bubba Applies for a Job

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.

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