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Jewish

Army of God

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

Height Problem

Lady to her dietician: No need to worry about my overeating during the holidays. What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Stages of Life

Jewish Moms

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER :
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"

The Jewish Dog

Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a problem."
Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."

Jewish Grandmother

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.

Sleepover at the Farm

A Rabbi, a Hindu Priest and an attorney were traveling together. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, their car broke down and they were stuck.

Jewish and Italian Moms

Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

Math Trick

Some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents ... come on!

More Jewish Humor

A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

Missing

A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?

Good Friday

When God solves your problems, you have FAITH in HIS abilities;
when God doesn't solve your problems He has faith in YOUR abilities.


Not Working

Came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator:

"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."

Jewish Collection

The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Legend of the Jewish Samurai

Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.

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All original drawings by Raoul Pascual. © All Rights Reserved. 2013. This website is designed and maintained by WYNK Marketing. Address all technical issues to support@wynkmarketing.com
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