Winter Boots

AT THE FUNERAL SERVICE

All eyes were on me as I marched up on stage with my guitar to sing my Lullaby to Tonia. When I said I was nervous that lowered their expectations (a good trick if you ever want to impress people). Then I slid my fingers to the opening chords and began my lullaby.

My thoughts flashed back to a few days prior when I practiced for this moment. I was disappointed that I could never perfect neither the strumming nor the words. And a slight panic set in. And then I realized I was concerned about losing face when in reality this was a moment for my faith to shine. It wasn't about me. It was about Tita Tonia, the relatives ... it was about Him. So what was my priority --- the guitar or the message?

Although I fumbled with some of the chords I made sure I enunciated the words clearly. Midway I gazed at audience and was surprised I was actually connecting with them. And when it was over, I knew they understood my warning. On my way back to my seat, people shook my hands with approval. I did it! And from the many praises during the reception, I didn't just hit that ball ... I was blessed with a homerun! Thanks for your prayers. The glory belongs to Him.

"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!." ---- Matthew 25:21

Wisdom from Melba of Covina, CA

Winter Boots
Sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA

(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this) Did you hear about the
teacher who was helping one of her pupils put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?"' like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.

But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots
on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Dying Wish
Sent by Sang of Delaware

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Math Homework
Contributed by Charlie of New York

What do you do when you are 4 years old and you need help solving your math problems? Why you simply dial 9-1-1!

Archie Bunker Attends Jewish Funeral
Contributed by Naomi of N Hollywood and Tom of Pasadena, CA

I think I might have used this before but I had so much fun watching this again that I wondered if you guys would feel the same way. Perhaps my recent adventure at a funeral service made this especially interesting.

Mysterious Hole
Contributed by Mike of New York

Just in time for the Superbowl is this hilarious "guy" commercial. Just watch!

Conference Call
Contributed by Charlie of New York

I'm sure you have participated in a telephone conference call before so this video will remind you of how it must look like translated in real life.