seniors

Senior Halloween

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you...

Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

Noah Part 2

In the year 2017, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in America and said:

Silence Your Phones

In our local church, before the 9:00 am mass, the moderator spoke through the microphone:

Sixty Going on Seventy

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are two HEARTS and a DIAMOND."

Doctor Bloom

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting-room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane

You Will Walk Today

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration seminar. The Bishop came. He laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

Grandma Witness

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

Senior Texting

Texting for the over 40's and 50's. The kids have all their SMC codes like WTF, LOL and PMSL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature:

Stages of Life

Subjective Age

"People my age are so much older than me."

Forgetful

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Annual Physical

After the ninety-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said "You are in fine shape for you age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

Lecture

Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!' He said to himself.

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