golf

Denture Referral

A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning.

Naming Puns

When discussing the drink labeled Screwdriver I was informed there's also one called Pile Driver -- prune juice and vodka. WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES?

Children in Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge."

Holy Golf

Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.

Golf Death

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

You're Weird

People say that you're weird,
if you talk to yourself.
They're wrong!

Jewish Grandmother

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.

Male and Female Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.

Sell Your Golf Clubs

Jerry decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

Grounds for Divorce

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

Beware of Marines

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters!"

Definition of Success

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.

Missing

A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?

Jewish Collection

The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

Saint Patrick Special Edition

Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to Antiques Roadshow.

”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

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