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politics

If I Die First

My wife has these days when she wants us to "talk about things."

We were discussing aspects of our future so when it was my turn I asked her, "What will you do if I die before you?"

Birthday Celebration

Denny’s has a slogan: “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

A husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

Deep Thinking

A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

Doctor Bloom

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting-room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane

Senior Texting

Texting for the over 40's and 50's. The kids have all their SMC codes like WTF, LOL and PMSL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature:

Women's Seminar

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

Gems from Hollywood Squares

These great spontaneous answers from the Hollywood Squares game show.
Q. Do female frogs croak?

Kids Advice on Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. (Alan, age 10)

Political Tutorial

If you think America's 2016 Election is so scary, crazy and funny, you're not alone. Here's a collection of political quotations that are sadly true

New CEO

General Motors, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

Annual Physical

After the ninety-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said "You are in fine shape for you age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

Vulner-Ability

The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Sicily.

Going to the Jim

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

Walk With Me

I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my forwarding it will be worth the effort.

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