Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 11/30/2014 - 01:40
Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy
Officer: That's no way to address an officer!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/10/2014 - 15:25
A male airhead is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...".
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:20
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:18
Bubba got a football scholarship at Dimwit College. He was a good running back but a poor student.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Tue, 08/12/2014 - 22:34
“For better digestion I drink beer, in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine, in the case of low blood pressure I drink red wine, in the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch, and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/04/2014 - 11:21
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"
"Yes, coach," replied the little boy.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 11:44
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?"
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 01:03
A little girl asked her father,
"How did the human race start?"
The father answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/21/2014 - 15:07
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/24/2014 - 09:37
A lion woke up one morning feeling very rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/17/2014 - 13:00
A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6.
He seemed irritated when I answered: "kindergarten."
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