Italian

Four Stages of Santa

1. You believe in Santa Claus.

Italian Altar Boy Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Dominic Savino?"
"Yes, Father, it is."

Army of God

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

Pig Story

A farmer had 5 female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.

Three Spies

There are 3 spies that get captured. One is French, one is English and the other is an Italian named Luigi.

Jewish and Italian Moms

Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

Cantaloupes and Algebra

(I don't usually use other artist's works but I had to make an exception with this one from the great Charles Schultz --- Raoul)

Missing

A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?

Family Tree

A little girl asked her father,
"How did the human race start?"
The father answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."



Bad Memory

True Salesman

Two airmen, Jones and Davis, were assigned to the induction center, where they advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. Airman Davis went right to it with an enthusiastic pitch.

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