Natural Laws

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 11/08/2014 - 03:04
This airhead decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these airhead jokes and how all airheads are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

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Juggler on the Freeway

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 11/01/2014 - 01:38
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler and was on his way to do a show at the Shrine Circus.

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The Airhead and the Crocodile Shoes

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/24/2014 - 14:34
An airhead was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices...

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Three Spies

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/17/2014 - 11:07
There are 3 spies that get captured. One is French, one is English and the other is an Italian named Luigi.

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Male Airheads

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/10/2014 - 15:25
A male airhead is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...".

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Jewish and Italian Moms

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/10/2014 - 14:36
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

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Math Trick

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/26/2014 - 16:45
Some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents ... come on!

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The Bible In 50 Words

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/19/2014 - 05:39
God made,
Adam bit,
Noah arked,
Abraham split...

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Confessional Box

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:20
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses

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The News

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 09/06/2014 - 04:27
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan!
He is making land mines that look like prayer mats!
It’s doing well!

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Sayings

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/29/2014 - 16:20
A penny saved is a government oversight.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.

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The Efficiency Expert

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/22/2014 - 10:12
A famous efficiency expert was lecturing to a senior MBA class at Harvard.
He concluded his lecture with a note of caution. He said, "I just want to warn you that you don't want to try these efficiency techniques at home."

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One More Chance

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:18
Bubba got a football scholarship at Dimwit College. He was a good running back but a poor student.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits.

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Grandma's Home Remedies

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Tue, 08/12/2014 - 22:34
“For better digestion I drink beer, in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine, in the case of low blood pressure I drink red wine, in the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch, and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

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Cantaloupes and Algebra

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/01/2014 - 16:49
(I don't usually use other artist's works but I had to make an exception with this one from the great Charles Schultz --- Raoul)

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