Senior Texting

Texting for the over 40's and 50's. The kids have all their SMC codes like WTF, LOL and PMSL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature:


If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

Evolution of Many Things

A Boy's Prayer

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it ...
I'm having a real good time just as I am!"


The CEO of a large firm goes on a road trip with his wife. They pull over a gas station to fill up the tank.
Later, the CEO steps inside the facility to pay the cashier. He then notices that his wife gets into an animated conversation with one of the gas station attendants.

Water in the Carburetor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

The Airhead and the Crocodile Shoes

An airhead was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices...

Tick Warning

It's the scam of the summer! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM!!

Bad Memory

The Western Wall

A female CNN journalist heard about a very elderly Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

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