Answers by Failed Students

What's Your Name?

A burglar breaks into a couple's bedroom. The startled husband and wife wake up and the burglar says: "Too bad! Now that you have seen my face, I have to kill you!"

Changes in Life

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life..."

Why God Made Moms

The following answers were given by second graders. Moms, this one's for you!

Favorite Animal

Some people can't handle the truth.

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

Stages of Life

Kids Advice on Marriage


You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. (Alan, age 10)

To Do List

Stand Up

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

A Boy's Prayer

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it ...
I'm having a real good time just as I am!"

Why We Love Kids

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

Pitiful Husbands

Tonsilectomy vs. Circumcision

Two little boys are in the hospital prior to having their operations.
One boy leans over and asks. "What are you having done?"
The second boy says. "I'm getting my tonsils out and I'm afraid."

A Pinch of Gunpowder

A tough old cowboy from Montana counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning


None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You’re driving me insane, Tyrone!"


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