Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 03/07/2015 - 01:55
Because I care about you, I want you to get checked outto make sure you're healthy and will be around longer!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 03/01/2015 - 01:33
I heard it was so cold in DC today that the politicians had their hands in their own pockets!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 02/14/2015 - 07:46
None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You’re driving me insane, Tyrone!"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/23/2015 - 13:59
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 01/17/2015 - 14:31
What do we want?!!
Better Memory!!
When do we want it?!!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 15:08
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 11/30/2014 - 01:40
Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy
Officer: That's no way to address an officer!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 11/21/2014 - 12:47
Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 15:27
I want you to know that someone cares...
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/19/2014 - 05:39
God made,
Adam bit,
Noah arked,
Abraham split...
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/15/2014 - 16:18
Bubba got a football scholarship at Dimwit College. He was a good running back but a poor student.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 06/07/2014 - 01:32
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:13
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:35
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob says, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go..."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/17/2014 - 01:22
Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two draft beers please."
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